Catholic School
My parents have no religious beliefs, however, they sent me to the best school that they knew of in Hong Kong, which was a Catholic elementary school. I believed that there was a God, however, I had no personal relationship with him. Gradually God faded out of my life as I found more “important” things to do, like friendship, money and most of all: freedom, which I interpreted as “doing whatever that pleases me.”
In Taiwan
I went to Taiwan for my undergraduate degree and studied at the National Taiwan University where I had 4 Christian roommates. They actively shared the Gospel with me repeatedly over 3 years, but to no avail, or at least I thought. I was irritated by them and didn’t want anything to do with God, because I was certain that I would lose the freedom I enjoyed.
As a foreign literature major (i.e., non-Chinese literature), the Bible was one of the classics that I was asked to study. I learned how to appreciate the beautiful structure of the Bible, but it did not affect my inner spiritual being. Life was too short, I did not want to search for something that was so vague, I had to “seize the day” and enjoy it while I could.
The ‘Jesus Man’
I went back to Hong Kong to find work after graduation. By finding a good job I felt ready to take on the world. On the first day of work, the coworker who sat opposite me invited me to lunch. While at the restaurant, he bowed his head and prayed before he ate. I was so frustrated, thinking, “Oh, no, a Jesus Man.” I had just been relived of 4 Christians, now here I had stumbled into another one. My coworker said, “God was certainly pursuing you.”
The “Jesus Man” talked about Jesus all the time, he challenged me with the questions of life and death and gave me a lot of books to read. I showed some patience at first, but after a while, I told him not to talk about God anymore; he did not listen. Sometimes we got into heated debates and I told him that I had studied the Bible and had found nothing exciting in it, unlike what he claimed as the ‘Word of God’.
Studying Buddhism
I am the kind of person who is serious about life, though I wanted to do whatever I wanted, I thought about the meaning of life all the time. Since this Christian coworker has put the thought about life and death even more so in my mind, I decided to take a class in Buddhism. My father always said, “You are a Chinese, if you believe in anything at all, you have to believe in Buddhism.”
After one year of class in Buddhist philosophy, at the end of the last class, I was perplexed. I have been waiting for the master teacher to give a final conclusion about “Buddha the God”. But he never did. When I went up to him and asked him where was God in Buddhism, he smiled and said, “You got it, there is no god in Buddhism.” I was stunned and utterly disappointed.
WIthout my knowledge, God was slowly working to soften my heart. On my 1-year anniversary on the job, I pulled out from my drawer one of the many booklets that my coworker gave me, it happened that one was about the Last Days; I took it with me while I traveled to meet a friend by bus. I read the booklet and there on that crowded bus, the Holy Spirit moved me to surrender to his sovereignty. I followed the prayer that was printed in the back of the booklet and acknowledged Jesus Christ as my savior.
No church please
I did not attend church after I surrender to Jesus. My reason was that I knew I was a sinner and I did not want to hang around with other sinners; all I needed was to be with Jesus alone. My coworker knew full well my stubbornness and did not force me to go. However, he encouraged me to read the Bible. I started to read the Bible thinking I could develop a relationship with God all by myself. After 6 months I had read my way through most of the Bible. But one day I was reading John 13:34-35: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” I pondered these verses for a long time. Then I realized that I not only had to love Jesus, but also to develop relationships with his people. Though it was a difficult thing for me to do at that time, I realized that I needed to obey my Lord. Shortly after I started to attend church with my coworker.
To be in fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ is one of the best things that has ever happen to me—fellowship was nothing like I had imagined. I now know so clearly that then I had a very crooked view about going to church. Now I enjoy the fellowship of brothers and sisters in Christ no matter where I am. I found myself growing in Christ much better with all those “sinners” around me.
Knowing what life is for
The biggest change that I have experienced since I acknowledged Christ as my savior, is that I now have a purpose in life, which is to glorify God with my whole being. I realize that the “freedom” that I was so afraid to lose was not freedom at all, it was just an aimless chasing of vanity. Jesus Christ has revolutionized my life, so much so that I went against the will of my parents and quit my job, in which I was doing quite well, in order to attend seminary. In the Chinese culture, going against the will of one’s parents is quite an unusual thing. But I recognized that God wanted me to serve him in a more serious capacity and that in order to do so I needed training!
It has been a many years since the day I prayed on that crowded bus, but I experience God’s grace abundantly everyday, especially through trials and difficult times. The Lord has shown me again and again how he keeps his promises, and that he honors his covenant with me. I thank Him for not giving up on me. He is truly unchangeable in his faithfulness!
Monday, December 17, 2007
信仰基督之路
以下是我信仰基督的心路歷程，原載於布家家庭網站。
天主教小學
我爸爸媽媽都沒有宗教仰，可是他們送我到當時在香港最好的學校，那是一所天主教小學。我從小就相信這個世界上有一位神存在，但是我和祂郤沒有任何關係。當我發現生命中有更重要的事情，如友情、金錢和最重要的自由，慢慢地，神就從我的生命中淡出了。當時我對自由的看法是：隨心所欲，想做就去做。
台灣的日子
大學是在國立台灣大學唸的，大學宿舍房間共住了六個女孩子，除了我和一位台灣女同學之外，其他的室友都是基督徒。他們三年來積極地、熱心地向我們傳福音，可是郤全無結果，至少那時我是這樣想的。我對他們的關心覺得十分厭煩，更沒有興趣與這位神有任何關係，因為我認為信神就會失去我當時正在享受的自由。
大學時主修的是外國語文和文學，聖經是其中我們必定要讀的經典文學作品。我學會了如何研讀聖經美妙的文筆和結構，可是這等認識對我內在的屬靈生命完全沒有影響。生命太短暫了，我不想去尋找太過虛無飄渺的東西，我要及時行樂，能享受生命就徹底的去享受。
“耶穌佬”
大學畢業後回到香港工作，找到份好工作，十分自得，覺得可以大展拳腳。上班第一天，與我對坐的同事邀請我一起吃午飯。菜來了，二話不說，他就低下頭祈禱。我一時為之語塞，心想：“不好了！他是個耶穌佬！”我剛擺脫了在台灣的四個基督徒室友，現在每天上班竟然要對著一個基督徒。那位同事說：“神真是在追尋你，沒有放棄你。”
“耶穌佬”同事經常跟我談耶穌，又以人生和死亡等問題挑戰我，更不斷地給我宗教書籍看。剛開始的時候我還耐心地聽他說幾句，可是過了幾個月，我聽夠了，我叫他不要再跟我談耶穌了；可是，他沒有聽我的話，口邊還是掛著各種人生問題。有時候我會跟他討論得十分激烈，我告訴他我是有讀過聖經的，這本書平平無奇，並不像他所說的那樣，是“神的說話”。
唸佛
雖然我喜歡隨心所欲的生活，但是我自認是個對生命認真的人，經常思想有關生命的問題。這位基督徒同事的深入問題叫我更加想去尋找生命的意義，於是我報名去學佛。我爸爸經常說：“你是中國人，要信甚麼宗教的話，就要信佛。”
上了一年佛學，在最後一堂課中我在等待大師作總結，告訴我們佛就是神。可是他完全沒有提到這一點。下課後我問大師，佛學中難道沒有神嗎？他微笑一下，點著頭說：“你悟了！”我是多麼的驚訝和失望。
原來在不知不覺中，神在慢慢地軟化我的心。我在這公司上班一週年當天，從塞滿了耶穌佬同事給我的小冊子的抽屜裏，隨手拿了一本有關世界末日的小書，打算在坐巴士去探朋友的路程上看一看。在擠滿下班人羣的巴士上，我把這小書一口氣看完，就在這擠擁的巴士上，神感動我，叫我完全降服在祂的權能之下。我跟著小書最後頁的禱文作了祈禱，承認耶穌基督是我的救主。
謝絶教會
雖說我降服在耶穌的主權之下，但是我沒參加教會聚會。我所持的理由是因為知道我是個罪人，所以不想與其他的罪人混在一起，我單單與耶穌在一起就夠了。我的同事十分明白我倔強的性格，並沒有強逼我到教會去，他郤鼓勵我讀聖經。我開始專心的讀聖經，以為我自己一個人就能與神建立關係。六個月過去了，我也差不多看完了整本聖經。有一天我看到約翰福音13章34-35節：“我賜給你們一條新命令，乃是叫你們彼此相愛；我怎樣愛你們，你們也要怎樣相愛。你們若有彼此相愛的心，眾人因此就認出你們是我的門徒了。”我思想這段經文好長一段時間，才發現我不單要愛耶穌，更要跟他的子民建立關係。當時我性格十分倔強，要遵從耶穌這個教導一點都不容易，我知道我必定要聽從我主的說話。不久之後，我就開始跟我的同事到教會聚會。
與在基督內的朋友們一起崇拜聚會是極為美好的事，並不像我想像中的的沉悶難耐。我以前對教會的看法原來是那麼錯誤的。現在無論我到那裏，我都享受與其他基督徒在一起。我發現當我與其他“罪人”在一起的時候，我在基督裏成長得更好，更堅固。
明白生命為何
我認信基督作為我的救主和生命的主之後所經歷最大的改變，是我明白了生命的意義，那就是以我的全人去榮耀神。我醒察到我以前一直恐懼失去的自由，其實不是真自由，而是盲目地對虛空事物的追求。耶穌基督對我的生命起了翻天覆地的變化，我甚至違背雙親的意思把工作辭掉，一意孤行去讀神學。在中國文化中，違背父母的心意是不容易的事。可是我知道神要我一心一意地投身去事奉祂，我就要去接受裝備。
在那擠擁的巴士上第一次向神祈禱已經是很多年前的事了，但是我到今時今日仍然每天經歷到神豐盛的恩典，特別是在艱難困苦的日子，神的恩典就更是滿溢。主耶穌一次又一次地向我顯明祂是持守應許、履行諾言的神，祂又信守他與我所立的約。我感謝神當年沒有放棄我。祂的信實確實是永不改變的。
Saturday, December 08, 2007
How should I pray?
It is 1:13am, Dan and I are still up researching on various things on the internet, which is quite rare, I usually go to bed around 11:00pm. But we still hear the music booming and banging from the neighbourhood through our closed windows and door. Should I pray that their stereo will get broken soon?
Only doing what Tiger Woods' parents did...
Why this article
I have not been able to express how I have been feeling for a long while about Kioni's possible giftedness. It stressed me out when I talk about it, because I have seen how others look at us, "Alright, she knows how to read, that's good", "You are making a mistake by pushing so hard, she is only 3, for crying out loud!"
"Add the label 'gifted' to a child and a whole range of preconceptions kick in to judge what that child is like. Some will see him or her as a 'little Einstein' and others as the product of pushy parents." National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC)
Sometimes people plain don't believe us. I deleted a whole section in our recent newsletter where Dan listed all the 2nd grade home-school subjects that Kioni is taking for this particular reason. How do we tell people we are not pushing her?
Kioni writing a "book" complete with illustrations
It is almost painful not be able to talk to other people about her daily activities, because I cannot explain why she LOVES to do Kumon pages and other school work, how easy it is for Kioni to learn German, how easy it is for her to spell "concentration", "veterinarian" and "rehearsal", how much she loves to read the "Woodland Mysteries" stories (a series of books in 10 chapters or so with only black and white drawings), and handbook for dinosaurs and field guide for mushrooms, how she can identify the "ring-tailed lemur" immediately when she saw one on TV, how much she loves to sit down and write a "book" for hours, complete with illustrations.
A ring-tailed lemur
But I have decided that I need to acknowledge the fact that she is gifted in words and languages, and work on guiding Kioni to the best of my ability, instead of worrying about how people look at us. We need to know how to parent her, because she has unusual needs that comes with the giftedness:
"Advanced cognition often makes gifted children aware of information that they are not yet emotionally ready to handle, particularly over moral and ethical issues. They tend to experience all of life with greater intensity, rendering them emotionally complex and very vulnerable to dilemmas as they grow in awareness. There are no 'developmental norms' for gifted children and comparisons with children of the same age become meaningless; they have more advanced play interests and often are academically far ahead of their age peers." NAGC
How it all began
Dan and I are not "kids" people, we didn't really pay much attention to kids, and if you asked how old a kid is, we probably would get it wrong. That changed when we have Kioni, not much though, except now we know probably how old a kid is. But when it comes to learning abilities, we still had no clue what a 6 months old could do. We of course looked up the internet for milestones kind of stuff, but I often thought they were not accurate because it seems like Kioni has exceeded many of the milestones. So after a while, I didn't pay attention to those anymore, naming them going to easy on what kids can do.
It was not until we started hearing our friends, particularly those who have several kids, telling us Kioni possesses some special abilities, then we started to think maybe she is a bit different. But still, "gifted" is a word that never entered our mind. Afterall, Dan and I are both "average" people, two average people, logically, should not have produced a "gifted" person, plus it sounded a bit scary to have a "gifted" kid.
When Kioni uttered her first word "lamp" at 5 months, and searched the floor for our dog when we said the dog's name (MeMe), we were amazed, but didn't think too much about it, thinking that's quite normal. She also loved to sit still at my lap and listened to me read to her, and flipped the pages when the page was done.
Coming into realization
Then at 10 months of age, she started learning the alphabets, both upper case and lower case through a great website, then we thought, great! We knew by then she loves to read.
At 18 months, Dan had to find something for the two of them to do while I was at work, so we contacted a Kumon center, the evaluation on that day confirmed our belief that she is good at reading. Six months later, she was enrolled, she was two years and three months old. By the time she is in the program for 2 years at the age of 4 years and 3 months, she will complete over half of the Kumon Reading program.
While researching how to help Kioni live and learn during our future years in Aberdeen, Scotland, I came across the above mentioned website NAGC. The following Level 4 descriptions in many ways describes Kioni on the spot, I highlighted those points. (The UK identifies students in 5 levels of giftedness, with level 5 being the highest.) Kioni is clearly gifted in Language and Words, (her vocabulary level is at U.S. 6th grade level), probably in some other areas that we still have to put a name to it.
Only doing what Tiger Woods' parents did
We know for sure she is not "Little Einstein", she is gifted only in certain areas, but it is enough for us to pause and ponder how to best raise her to be someone who will be used by God in a powerful and wonderful way. I believe God gives her a good brain for a reason.
Afterall, we are just doing what Tiger Woods' parents did -- "His parents identified their son's talent at an unusually early age. (His father) devoted his energies to developing his son's talent and to furthering the boy's career as a golfer. All the while, Tiger's mother made sure that her son's rare talent and his budding golf career would not interfere with his childhood or his future happiness." (from Answers.com)
Level Four Gifted
How many Level Four children are there in our schools? Many parents of many Level Four children turn to home education to solve some of the school behaviour issues, schools where most of the parents are highly educated professionals, can expect that about 2% of their students may be at Level Four or higher. A middle class population primary school with 100 children per year group will have one or two of these children for every two year groups, which means the school will probably not have a pupil this intelligent every year. By the time the pupils are all drawn together for secondary school, there may be 1 to 3 students in each year group.
I have not been able to express how I have been feeling for a long while about Kioni's possible giftedness. It stressed me out when I talk about it, because I have seen how others look at us, "Alright, she knows how to read, that's good", "You are making a mistake by pushing so hard, she is only 3, for crying out loud!"
"Add the label 'gifted' to a child and a whole range of preconceptions kick in to judge what that child is like. Some will see him or her as a 'little Einstein' and others as the product of pushy parents." National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC)
Sometimes people plain don't believe us. I deleted a whole section in our recent newsletter where Dan listed all the 2nd grade home-school subjects that Kioni is taking for this particular reason. How do we tell people we are not pushing her?
Kioni writing a "book" complete with illustrations
It is almost painful not be able to talk to other people about her daily activities, because I cannot explain why she LOVES to do Kumon pages and other school work, how easy it is for Kioni to learn German, how easy it is for her to spell "concentration", "veterinarian" and "rehearsal", how much she loves to read the "Woodland Mysteries" stories (a series of books in 10 chapters or so with only black and white drawings), and handbook for dinosaurs and field guide for mushrooms, how she can identify the "ring-tailed lemur" immediately when she saw one on TV, how much she loves to sit down and write a "book" for hours, complete with illustrations.
A ring-tailed lemur
But I have decided that I need to acknowledge the fact that she is gifted in words and languages, and work on guiding Kioni to the best of my ability, instead of worrying about how people look at us. We need to know how to parent her, because she has unusual needs that comes with the giftedness:
"Advanced cognition often makes gifted children aware of information that they are not yet emotionally ready to handle, particularly over moral and ethical issues. They tend to experience all of life with greater intensity, rendering them emotionally complex and very vulnerable to dilemmas as they grow in awareness. There are no 'developmental norms' for gifted children and comparisons with children of the same age become meaningless; they have more advanced play interests and often are academically far ahead of their age peers." NAGC
How it all began
Dan and I are not "kids" people, we didn't really pay much attention to kids, and if you asked how old a kid is, we probably would get it wrong. That changed when we have Kioni, not much though, except now we know probably how old a kid is. But when it comes to learning abilities, we still had no clue what a 6 months old could do. We of course looked up the internet for milestones kind of stuff, but I often thought they were not accurate because it seems like Kioni has exceeded many of the milestones. So after a while, I didn't pay attention to those anymore, naming them going to easy on what kids can do.
It was not until we started hearing our friends, particularly those who have several kids, telling us Kioni possesses some special abilities, then we started to think maybe she is a bit different. But still, "gifted" is a word that never entered our mind. Afterall, Dan and I are both "average" people, two average people, logically, should not have produced a "gifted" person, plus it sounded a bit scary to have a "gifted" kid.
When Kioni uttered her first word "lamp" at 5 months, and searched the floor for our dog when we said the dog's name (MeMe), we were amazed, but didn't think too much about it, thinking that's quite normal. She also loved to sit still at my lap and listened to me read to her, and flipped the pages when the page was done.
Coming into realization
Then at 10 months of age, she started learning the alphabets, both upper case and lower case through a great website, then we thought, great! We knew by then she loves to read.
At 18 months, Dan had to find something for the two of them to do while I was at work, so we contacted a Kumon center, the evaluation on that day confirmed our belief that she is good at reading. Six months later, she was enrolled, she was two years and three months old. By the time she is in the program for 2 years at the age of 4 years and 3 months, she will complete over half of the Kumon Reading program.
While researching how to help Kioni live and learn during our future years in Aberdeen, Scotland, I came across the above mentioned website NAGC. The following Level 4 descriptions in many ways describes Kioni on the spot, I highlighted those points. (The UK identifies students in 5 levels of giftedness, with level 5 being the highest.) Kioni is clearly gifted in Language and Words, (her vocabulary level is at U.S. 6th grade level), probably in some other areas that we still have to put a name to it.
Only doing what Tiger Woods' parents did
We know for sure she is not "Little Einstein", she is gifted only in certain areas, but it is enough for us to pause and ponder how to best raise her to be someone who will be used by God in a powerful and wonderful way. I believe God gives her a good brain for a reason.
Afterall, we are just doing what Tiger Woods' parents did -- "His parents identified their son's talent at an unusually early age. (His father) devoted his energies to developing his son's talent and to furthering the boy's career as a golfer. All the while, Tiger's mother made sure that her son's rare talent and his budding golf career would not interfere with his childhood or his future happiness." (from Answers.com)
Level Four Gifted
How many Level Four children are there in our schools? Many parents of many Level Four children turn to home education to solve some of the school behaviour issues, schools where most of the parents are highly educated professionals, can expect that about 2% of their students may be at Level Four or higher. A middle class population primary school with 100 children per year group will have one or two of these children for every two year groups, which means the school will probably not have a pupil this intelligent every year. By the time the pupils are all drawn together for secondary school, there may be 1 to 3 students in each year group.
- Almost all paid attention within months of birth while someone to read to them (Kioni - 4 months)
- Books were a favourite interest before three or four months (True for Kioni)
- Almost all understood parental directives by 6 months (True for Kioni)
- Most knew and said some words by 5 to 9 months (She utter her first word - lamp when she was 5 months old)
- Many had large vocabularies, receptive and expressive, by 14 months (Friends who baby-sat her would often made that comment to us, at the time, we didn't know better.)
- Many recognized and picked out specific numbers and letters by 12-15 months (True for Kioni)
- Most knew many colors by 15-18 months (She knew hers before 12 months)
- Many liked puzzles by 15 to 36 months (35+ piece puzzles) (Puzzles are one of her favourite toys)
- Many read numerous sight words between 15 and 20 months (True for Kioni)
- Almost all knew the entire alphabet by 15-22 months (Kioni knew the alphabet by 12 months)
- Most read names on signs and stores from between 20 months and 3 years (True for Kioni)
- Many memorized the books that were read to them before they were 2 years old (True for Kioni)
- Many showed interest in letter sounds and sounding out short words by age 2 (True for Kioni at 18 months)
- Most were speaking in complex sentences, more than four words, by 15 to 24 months (True for Kioni)
- Many could rote count to 10, many higher, by 13 to 20 months (True for Kioni)
- Most printed letters, numbers, words, and their names between 2 and 3 years (True for Kioni)
- Many had high interest in factual information, how things work, science, by 3 to 4 (True for Kioni, she has a lot of books on animal facts, science, space and such.)
- Most knew many sight words by age 3-4 (True for Kioni)
- Most grasp skip counting, backwards, addition, subtraction, more and less, by 3 to 4 years (Kioni has been doing all of the above since age 3 with Kumon, and continuing with homeschooling in Singapore Math, she is grasping the concept of fraction also recently - November, 2008.)
- Most were independent on computer by age 3 to 4 years, most keyboarding by 5 (Kioni started to use the computer (mouse) at 2 and a half. She is typing, properly with all fingers, by 5.)
- Most read easy readers by age 3 to 4 years (True for Kioni)
- Many question the reality of Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy by 3 to 4 years (She never believes they were real)
- Many understand some multiplication, division and some fractions by 5 (She is doing exactly those in Singapore Math in 2008-2009, somewhere from age 4-5.)
- Most read for pleasure and information by 5 (Kioni started doing that by 3, she would read shampoo bottles, cereal boxes, instruction manuals, anything that would rive her information on a certain product.)
- All read two to five years beyond grade level by age 6 (Kioni is about 5 years beyond her grade level)
- All read youth and adult chapter books independently by age 6-7 (True for Kioni)
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Noses are for....
My friend's Jeannie Swanstrom's grandson Owen, who just turned three recently said,
Ears are for hearing,
Eyes are for seeing,
And noses are for BOOGERS!
Eyes are for seeing,
And noses are for BOOGERS!
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