Balancing the salvation check book

How much would you pay for a life? No, I am not talking about a hit job, but how much would you pay if you “could” buy someone’s salvation?

I came to think about this question when I first became a Christian.  I wanted so much for my parents to be saved, but to this day they’re still not.  I thought at that time, if only I could trade something with God for their salvation, I mean anything, even my life.  If God says, “Amy, in order for your parents to be saved, you have to die.”  I would say, “Absolutely! Take my life!”  Thankfully, Jesus has already given his life for my parents, and I am not qualified for the job anyway.

If one could give one's life up for another's salvation, I don't know how many Christians would give up their lives for Buddhist and Muslims.  I thought of the decades of unceasing work in the gospel hard soil of Japan and numerous Islamic countries. The enormous amount of resources pouring in sure does not seem like it is ‘balancing’ the number of people saved. However, I am sure if you ask any one of those who are supporting ministries in these countries, who are working faithfully, who have given their lives for the people in these countries, “Is it worth it?” They will give you a definite "YES!"

God, through this, is telling us that ‘balancing the salvation check book’ is not our concern, it's his business, all we need to do is to remain faithful to what he has called us to do, walk with him, look to him, feel his heart for the lost, the rest is God's concern, not ours.

22 years

This is the 22nd year of my life in Christ.
Thank you, God, for your unfailing love, even for a wretch like me.

忘記了嗎？

天色陰暗，細雨紛飛，然而，飛鳥無懼於風雨，有的高飛，有的在樹枝間跳躍。飛鳥無懼，因為牠們知道神在看顧，我恐懼，是我忘記了嗎？

Matthew 6:26
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

馬太福音 6:26
你 們 看 那 天 上 的 飛 鳥 ， 也 不 種 ， 也 不 收 ， 也 不 積 蓄 在 倉 裡 ， 你 們 的 天 父 尚 且 養 活 他 。 你 們 不 比 飛 鳥 貴 重 得 多 麼 ？

"Christian Elepants"

這是個「神奇」的故事，有點叫人難以置信，不過，我相信這故事的真實性。

Story source from Asia Harvest.

In 2008, a severe persecution of Christians broke out in the Indian state of Orissa. The end result saw more than 500 Christians murdered, and thousands of others injured and homeless after their houses were reduced to ashes. (See our Latest News releases about Orissa in this file and in the 2008 archive for more information). As a result, Asia Harvest responded and helped the persecuted believers, including building homes for many families. Recently, a strange and dramatic event took place in Orissa, which has many people talking and wondering.

The Restoration India Mission has reported that in recent months, herds of wild elephants have begun to storm villages that are home to some of the worst persecutors of Christians during the troubles. In one village where in August a year ago the Christians had to run for their lives while their homes were being destroyed by rioters, a herd of elephants emerged from the surrounding jungle, RIM reports, "Exactly one year later, at the same time of the day, the persecutors are now running for their lives, from nothing less than a herd of wild elephants! These elephants first attacked a rock crusher machine owned by a key leader of the persecution movement. They then went on to destroy his house and farms. Gaining momentum, they rampaged through other non-Christian homes demolishing gardens and singling out the homes of persecutors, leaving Christian homes untouched. People ran to the police station to report the disastrous news. In one case, a police jeep that attempted to drive away the herd was attacked and the occupants barely escaped. Truly, God is the avenger of the helpless.

These strange attacks have spread, and according to a report by Kusanath Pradhan, the elephants have already destroyed more than 700 houses in 30 villages, and killed five people. Nobody in this area has seen or even imagined the unique appearance of a herd of wild elephants such as this. The elephants are not ordinary elephants; they appear to be on a mission. Typically, smaller elephants enter a village first, appearing to survey the community. They then rejoin the larger herd, and larger elephants soon follow and get the job done. "Just what is their job?" you might ask.

RIM states, "We think that it might have something to do with avenging the blood of martyrs. In fact, the fear of God has fallen on the local people, who have labeled these elephants, "Christian elephants."

“Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Romans 12:19 Source: Restoration India Mission.

Life

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me... It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

1. Life isn't fair, but it 's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23... Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words “In five years, will this matter? '
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

When there is not enough

As you might know we are homeschooling Kioni, and we use the literature based curriculum - Sonlight.
We started Kioni's first grade (using Sonlight Core 1 curriculum) last September, she will have two more weeks, and then she is done.
Two months ago, we were planning her homeschooling, using Core 2 curriculum and advanced readers. I was considering how in the world would we be able to buy the curriculum and all the books that come with it. I know we can go to the library for the books, but so many of them are not available in a Scottish library, plus it is always a hit and miss.
I was praying and asking God as to how we will be able to pay for the books.
Then comes tax time.
We found out we got some money back for Kioni's education, plus since we don't have sufficient income, the tax return is enough for buying Kioni's books for next year's homeschooling! We even have a little left for Dan to buy the much needed books for him to do research for his PhD! (Ahhmmmm... no, they don't have the books that Dan needs in the University of Aberdeen library to do his research, the Divinity Department receives the least funding out of all the departments.)

God is good. When we thought we didn't have enough, He's there to save the day.
The homeschool materials arrived yesterday, and Kioni is enjoying the Magic Flute (music, opera singing and story telling) this morning. She has been sitting still (which I didn't think she is capable of) of over an hour listening to it!
God is good.

Chill out, I got it!

I was chatting with my friend from seminary for the first time on Facebook, she asked me how we were doing in Aberdeen. Since we have been friends for 16 years, I did not hesitate to tell her that financially, we are tighter than ever. We need student loan to pay for Dan's tuition, the support of faithful churches and individuals to our ministry does help to pay the monthly rent, however, everyday expenses is still an uncertainty. It depends on the exchange rate, sometimes we have enough, sometimes we don't.

About a month or so after I shared it with my friend, she wrote to me saying that she is going to talk to a few people at her church to see if they would like to support us. I was quite surprised at her initiation, and extremely thankful, however, I was highly skeptical, wondering who in the world would support someone whom they have never heard of!

In fact, Dan and I were wondering if we should continue with this ministry, we would love to continue, because if only just one person is saved, it is all worth it. But if the funding is not sufficient, we just don't know how we can continue.

About a month after that email, she wrote to me again, telling me she has talked to three people and asked me to pray while they were making their decisions.

Not long after that, she told me one of the three potential supporters emailed her a list of questions, so I answered them all. My friend said when he decides that he is going to support us, he will write to me directly. A few days later, I got his email, he is going to support us! Not only that, he has made a 3 year committment, (depending on yearly review).

Now the interesting thing is, just days earlier, Dan and I were figuring out how we are going to pay for the ReachGlobal European Conference, which all missionaries in Europe have to attend.

Our account with ReachGlobal has two categories, one is our monthly salary, the second is ministry expense. The expenses of the conference can be taken out from the ministry expense, however, it can only be reimbursed when our overall account has over 4,000 USD in it.

The end of last year, our support level was low, and we had to stop our monthly salary for two months in order not to dip further down into the red. Since then, God has provided through various faithful supporters, and we are able to be paid monthly again. However, for another two months more, we cannot reimburse our ministry expenses, because we didn't have more than 4,000 USD in our account. What that means is that whatever ministry expenses we accumulate, we have to pay for them out of our salary. We are thankful that we do have enough to cover our ministry expense now, but paying for the whole trip for three people? That would put us right back into the hole!

However, ReachGlobal requires that we let them know our travel details before April 15th. Which means we have to book our plane tickets, train tickets, book hotel rooms, etc, with no time to figure out where the money will come from. Dan and I spent days online trying to get the cheapest plane tickets, we booked hostels, etc, but still wondering if, for the first time in my life, I will have to owe the credit card company money!

I was worried, my heart unsettled.

Little did I know, at the time when all those worries were overwhelming me, God has already prepared this supporter from afar, someone whom I have never met, never talked to, not even one direct email exchange, since we have been communicated once only, through my friend.

I didn't tell Dan about my friend's proposal because Dan tends to get quite stressed out when it is related to support. When I told him yesterday, he just laughed and said, "You have to thank Ella and tell her now we have money for groceries."

Then Dan started to wonder if our newest supporter knows "everything" about our ministry. I told him I think he knows as much as Ella knows, and as much as our newsletter has talked about. Then Dan said, "I wonder why he would support us without knowing EVERYTHING." (If you know Dan, you know how thorough a person he is.) I then answer him, "I think because God wants us to know it is not our efforts, our talks, our persuation that caused our supporters to support us, it is Him, and Him alone."

Not only God has provided financially, through Ella and this supporter, He is telling us that this ministry is to be continued. Keep on going even though the response might be slow. This is the biggest confirmation for me that we are to charge ahead, no matter what the outcome is.

When I thanked my friend Ella for what she has done, for her taking the initiation, for her not to say, "Go in peace, my sister," for her to follow up with actions. She wrote back and said, "Money is of so little significance in the God's kingdom."

I am surprised at how much worries I have gone through, while all these years, God has not failed, not even once, in taking care of us in every way. This has proven again that I am a person of little faith, but God doesn't condemn me for that, rather, He opens His arm and embraced me and tell me,

"Chill out, I got it!"
..

Back home

Many of us said goodbye to our friend from seminary today, the first day of 2009. He has gone into glory with the Lord whom he had served faithfully. The aggressive leukemia has turned his body into ruins, within just a few days of being hospitalized, he is gone.

No words can describe the shock a lot of us experienced. Though we know he is now in heaven and would not want to come back, I grieve for his wife (she was his classmate in seminary), and his children who are now without a father. I grieve because death is an ugly thing, it is not suppose to be there. We are made to live on, that was the intention when God created Adam and Eve.

In a mysterious way, God has decided that our friend's struggle on earth is over, time for him to go back to Him. Though for a lot of us on earth, the time seems short. However, I believe if we know what kind of glory he is in right now, we will feel comforted. It doesn't take away the pain we feel for not having him on earth, in fact, when we stare at death, it is so unnatural, so ridiculous that we can't even explain it.

Goodbye, Kwok Wah, next time we see you, we will all rejoice the fact that we are with the Lord. We cannot imagine just yet how life is like without you being here.

國華，下次再見的時候，我們會在天家，你會跟我說：「你來了，真好！」
我們在神學院的時候叫你做「譚大牧」，因為你一早已經顯出了牧者的心腸。你經常都是笑容滿面的，你對同學、師弟、師妹們的真誠關心，是我們很容易感受到的。
還記得我們修希伯來文的時候，我們幾個人因為希望互相鼓勵，決定「比賽」誰在測驗中得最低分的就要請吃飯嗎？我經常都是最低分的那個，但是因為你的牧者心腸，你代替我請吃飯，真係唔話得。
離開香港十年後我回去香港，竟然在尖沙咀碰見你和寶珍手拖手行街。你微笑說：「同老婆拍拖。」恩愛之情表露無遺。
我們不知道為甚麼神決定這是你返天家的時候了。在我們的角度，似是還有許多沒做完的事，沒說完的話。許多問題不知道會不會有答案。
你打了一場美好的仗，我們懷念你。國華，天家見。

20 years

Today is my 20th anniversary of becoming a Christian. How God has sought me over the years is an amazing journey, and I have recorded it in My Journey of Faith in both English and Chinese.

20 years is a long time in human years, but when I consider what I will spend in eternity, it is nothing.
20 years has confirmed one thing, if not more, that is God IS faithful. I have gone through deep dark valleys and experienced jubilant moments, God is always there, to have and to hold, never letting me go, even there are more moments than I want to remember when I complained excessively. I have never experienced that kind of patience, that kind of love.

If God would take me to heaven today, I will only ask for one thing, if I am allowed, before I leave: that is the salvation of my parents. I will leave with no regrets, but as I look at it with my human eyes and heart, it saddens me everytime I thought of my parents being resistant to God's love.

Well, like winning the Oscar, I have to say some thank-yous:

I am not going to name names, because you know who you are. You are my faithful friends, you know who you are. You are always there when I write you an email needing to 'talk', you always care and pray for me, and my family. At times when I was not paying attention, you are remembering me. Thank you.

What a beautiful cloud of people surrounding me when I continue on this pilgrimage. 20 years of faithfulness proven by God and by the angels He has put around me at various periods of time for various reasons.

Thank you, God, for choosing me to be your dear child. If I have another 20 years, I will rejoice.

Inspiration from X-Files and such

Maybe you didn't know I love to analyze movies and TV shows, in fact, I once almost entered into studying movies when I first graduated from university, not how to make movies, rather movie criticism. Didn't study that, because there was no such course in Hong Kong back then, and I didn't want to leave Hong Kong again after being absent for 5 years for university in Taiwan.

I love to watch several TV shows and am glad that no matter where I go, I am still able to get those shows.

I like X-Files, other than I like watching the rather handsome and smart Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and his always skeptical partner Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson), I am intrigued by the fact that though Fox Mulder firmly believes that there is life other than those that exist on earth, he does not believe in God. On the other hand, Dana Scully, a medical doctor, who was sent to partner with Fox Mulder for the sole purpose of debunking his work, is highly skeptical of alien lifeform, but she wears a crucifix around her neck, and states that she believes in God and miracles. Isn't that funny what people 'choose' to believe? You might say, "When you see evidence, you believe." This is not quite the case. Dana Scully, through her line of work with Mulder, has seen a fair share of X-phenominum, however, she still told Mulder, "You have to show me evidence." She is always trying to explain things away with science. Hold on...she is the one who believes in miracles! And most people thinks miracles happen when science ends. On the other hand, Mulder, who is convinced that his sister was abducted by aliens, would always scorn Scully for her belief and having faith, yet, he is totally convinced of something he cannot prove yet. I think other than the X elements in X-files, the well-developed characters of Mulder and Scully contribute to the success of the series.

I also love forensic science, crime stories, criminal profiling, and shows along those lines. I am not particularly interested in the guts and blood, but I am fascinated by how criminals think, why they think they could commit crimes and not get caught. On the other hand, the dogged determination of the people who try everything they can to catch the criminal is worth every ounce of my respect, the process of solving crime fascinates me. What I learned from these shows is that the more arrogant you are, the easier you will get caught. A well planned out crime takes much longer to solve, versus if you think you are good, you will start to be careless, and eventually, you will get caught.

The shows about cold cases have taught me one thing further, judgment will always come, it might take detectives 20, 30 years to catch up with you, but you will get caught, there is always one thread of line that links back to you, awaiting for a detective to discover it, or an eyewitness to finally come forward. Of course, there are more unsolved cold cases than those that are solved, but each cold case that is solved gives hope, and hope is what you need when your loved one disappeared or murdered decades ago. With no hope or any reason to hope, the heart dies.

And of course, as a Christian, I do believe that there will be a final judgment, where all the cold cases will be solved, and God the great judge will sentence the criminals, who were allowed to be free on earth (physically but not in their conscience), to the eternal prison. And of course, we will also know if Mulder is right about aliens!

Two died today - 45 years ago

Two unique men died today 45 years ago, each unique in their own way.

C.S. Lewis and John F. Kennedy both died on November 22, 1963, both of Irish descent, both had tremendous influences to changing minds of this world.

JFK was assassinated, the world's attention was completely focused on JFK's assassination, C.S. Lewis' died suddenly and quietly.

What would they say to each other in eternity?

No Presents!

Ellie (6) is Kioni's little friend from across the street. A few days ago, the subject of Santa Claus came up when Kioni was playing in their house. Kioni, as any truthful Christian kid would, told Ellie that Santa Claus is not real, he didn't bring presents, it's actually her mom and dad who give her the presents.

Today Ellie is over playing in our house, she walk over to where I am sitting, look at me with the most serious face I have ever seen on her, and with a solemn voice, she said, "You know, Santa is not going to give you presents if you don't believe in him, NO PRESENTS!" "He CAN fit through the chimney, and you never see him because he is invisible."

I feel bad about what I am compelled to tell her, so I told her I will look Santa Claus up on the internet and read her some of the things they said about Santa Claus. I read her a few lines, and she said, "So you mean my mum and dad wants me to be surprised, so they said the presents are from Santa?"

For all those who don't agree with telling kids that Santa does not give us presents on Christmas Eve, maybe when you believe that Santa is real, than you can start telling kids that Santa is real, or else, plainly put it, you are just lying. I am rarely that blunt, but making kids believe, year after year, about something that you don't even believe yourself, upsets me. You know what's next? When you try to tell your kid a truth next time, guess what? Cry Wolf, the more white lies you tell, the less truth your kid would believe.

Don't worry, you're not going to hell.

Associated Press
Wednesday, October 22, 2008

LONDON — London buses have God on their side — but not for long, if atheists have their way.

The sides of some of London's red buses will soon carry ads asserting there is "probably no God," as nonbelievers fight what they say is the preferential treatment given to religion in British society.

Organizers of a campaign to raise funds for the ads said Wednesday they received more than $113,000 in donations, almost seven times their target, in the hours since they launched the project on a charity Web site. Supporters include Oxford University biologist Richard Dawkins, who donated $9,000.

The money will be used to place posters on 30 buses carrying the slogan "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life." The plan was to run the ads for four weeks starting in January, but so much money has been raised that the project may be expanded.

"A lot of people say trying to organize atheists is like herding cats. The last couple of days shows that is not true," said comedy writer Ariane Sherine, who started the campaign.

While most London buses carry posters for shops or Hollywood movies, Christian churches and Muslim groups have bought bus-side ad space in the past.

Sherine came up with the idea after seeing a series of Christian posters on London buses. She said she visited the Web site promoted on one ad and found it told nonbelievers they would spend eternity in torment in hell.

"I thought it would be a really positive thing to counter that by putting forward a much happier and more upbeat advert, saying 'Don't worry, you're not going to hell,'" said Sherine, 28. "Atheists believe this is the only life we have, and we should enjoy it."

The British Humanist Association, which is administering the fundraising drive, said it had been so successful the campaign might spread to other cities including Manchester and Edinburgh.

Most Britons identify themselves as Christians, but few attend church regularly, and public figures rarely talk about their beliefs. Former Prime Minister Tony Blair was rare among politicians in speaking openly about his Christian faith.

Dawkins, author of the best-selling atheist manifesto "The God Delusion," said that religion nonetheless held a privileged position in society.

"Religious organizations have an automatic tax-free charitable status," he said. "Bishops sit in the House of Lords automatically. Religious leaders get preferential treatment on all sorts of commissions.

"This campaign to put alternative slogans on London buses will make people think — and thinking is anathema to religion."

Dawkins said that as an atheist he "wasn't wild" about the ad's assertion that there was "probably" no God.

Sherine said the word was included to ensure the posters didn't breach transit advertising regulations, which stipulate ads should not offend religious people.

Few believers appeared offended by the campaign, although most doubted it would work.

"I think people will ask themselves, 'On what basis can they make that statement?" said Inayat Bunglawala of the Muslim Council of Britain. "So it will get people thinking, so in that sense it can only be good."

Ad agency CBS Outdoor, which manages advertising on many London buses, said it had approved the atheist campaign.

Sales and marketing director Tim Bleakley said "our decision to take an ad that promotes God, or one that promotes no God, is based on commercial terms, as long as the advertising copy itself does not breach U.K. advertising standards."

The Rev. Jenny Ellis, spirituality and discipleship officer for the Methodist Church, welcomed the ads.

"This campaign will be a good thing if it gets people to engage with the deepest questions of life," she said.

The religious think tank Theos said it had donated $82 to the campaign, on the grounds that the ads were so bad they would probably attract people to religion.

"It tells people to 'stop worrying,' which is hardly going to be a great comfort for those who are concerned about losing jobs or homes in the recession," said Theos director Paul Woolley.

"Stunts like this demonstrate how militant atheists are often great adverts for Christianity."

Last night in Cebu

Going back to read the first blog entry that I wrote 19 months ago when we first arrived in Cebu, it seems like not much that I felt then has changed. It is just as hot and humid, the poverty still is on display every corner we turn. The music is still loud, the traffic is still like a big confusing net.
However, something happened inside us. We are not the same person anymore. We have understood the Filipino culture much deeper than just the heat, the poverty and the loud music, and in turn, the Lord has taught us how, though all these, to understand ourselves.

Tomorrow we are flying to Hong Kong, we will stay there for two months. Dan will fly to China in two different periods of time to teach.

I have already started to miss Cebu, not for the heat and the poverty, but I miss the people I know here. I miss Maris, our faithful and loyal helper, who has saw us through thick and thin while we were dealing with cultural difficulties. I feel sorry for Kioni that she is feels sad for the first time because of having to have to say goodbye to people she knows. She does not remember America, all her memory is in Cebu.

I just hope that I won't cry too much at the airport. Maris and her best friend, Dolor will come and see us off. Saying goodbye is so hard, but we have to do is all the time. Wish that Jesus will come back soon, so there won't be anymore goodbyes.

Typhoon #3 signal is hoisted in Hong Kong, there are strong winds and rain in Hong Kong. I hope the plane will not delay, sleeping in Cebu airport with 5 large suitcases and 6 carry-on bags with a 4 year old in tow is not exactly an adventure.

Split household

In two days (this Wednesday), most of our belongings will be taken by the shipping company and put into storage in Cebu for 5 months, plus the one month it takes to ship the boxes to Aberdeen, Scotland, we will have to part with our belongings for 6 months.

We didn't think of it as too unusual at first because Dan and I have been moving with the Air Force many times in the 10 year time when he was in active duty. However, there is a major difference is, this is the first time we have our belongings split in three different parts of the world.

1) We have a storage unit in Michigan filled with our furniture and household goods, we couldn't bring everything when we came to Cebu.

2) In a few days, we will have another part in storage with the moving company in Cebu.

3) Then we will carry whatever we can with us so we can live for the next 6 months until we see our belongings again.

This will be an interesting year, doing without most of our stuff, that makes me wonder if we even need them in the first place. (A lot of the boxes are books, so I guess we do need them.)

Last time I lived in the same place for more than 9 years was the time after I graduated from Taiwan to the time when I married Dan and moved away. Since then, life has been one transition after another.

I miss the days when I can have all my baking supplies, knitting supplies, books and coffee maker all together, it will be a long while before I have it again. We cannot ship all our household goods in Michigan to Aberdeen, because the cost is high, and flats in Aberdeen is small but expensive. So we will again live a "temporary" life for the next three to four years. I wonder what next after Aberdeen.

This kind of life style actually has taught me the right attitude towards our life on earth, even if I stay in the same house from birth to the day I die, this is just one big transition, it is temporary. The permanent life, the one that I should look forward to, is yet to come. Though I don't see it now, like I don't see how or where we will live after Aberdeen, I know God has prepared a place for us, just like he has prepared a place for us in heaven. This is the most comforting thought amidst of boxes, bubble wraps and hours and hours of traveling ahead of us.

What is history?

All that we call human history -- money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery -- [is] the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which make him happy. ~ C.S. Lewis

We see all these happen everyday around the world, no matter which culture you are in, which level of society you are in. It is astounding though to see all these displayed so plainly in the Philippines, which is supposed to be a Catholic country. A lot of Filipinos are "religions", today we attended church service, we drove to the mall to make a few last minute purchases before we leave Cebu. On the way, we passed a large Catholic church. The church was so full that there were about 100 people standing outside of the church to attend the service. Filipinos are religious.

However, something is wrong with being just "religious", without Jesus Christ as the center of their worship, man still tries hard "to find something other than God which make him happy." The Bible explained it very clearly, in Romans 3:23-24, it says " for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

Life is tasteless and hopeless with Jesus.

Journey to the Christian Faith

Catholic School
My parents have no religious beliefs, however, they sent me to the best school that they knew of in Hong Kong, which was a Catholic elementary school. I believed that there was a God, however, I had no personal relationship with him. Gradually God faded out of my life as I found more “important” things to do, like friendship, money and most of all: freedom, which I interpreted as “doing whatever that pleases me.”

In Taiwan
I went to Taiwan for my undergraduate degree and studied at the National Taiwan University where I had 4 Christian roommates. They actively shared the Gospel with me repeatedly over 3 years, but to no avail, or at least I thought. I was irritated by them and didn’t want anything to do with God, because I was certain that I would lose the freedom I enjoyed.

As a foreign literature major (i.e., non-Chinese literature), the Bible was one of the classics that I was asked to study. I learned how to appreciate the beautiful structure of the Bible, but it did not affect my inner spiritual being. Life was too short, I did not want to search for something that was so vague, I had to “seize the day” and enjoy it while I could.

The ‘Jesus Man’
I went back to Hong Kong to find work after graduation. By finding a good job I felt ready to take on the world. On the first day of work, the coworker who sat opposite me invited me to lunch. While at the restaurant, he bowed his head and prayed before he ate. I was so frustrated, thinking, “Oh, no, a Jesus Man.” I had just been relived of 4 Christians, now here I had stumbled into another one. My coworker said, “God was certainly pursuing you.”

The “Jesus Man” talked about Jesus all the time, he challenged me with the questions of life and death and gave me a lot of books to read. I showed some patience at first, but after a while, I told him not to talk about God anymore; he did not listen. Sometimes we got into heated debates and I told him that I had studied the Bible and had found nothing exciting in it, unlike what he claimed as the ‘Word of God’.

Studying Buddhism
I am the kind of person who is serious about life, though I wanted to do whatever I wanted, I thought about the meaning of life all the time. Since this Christian coworker has put the thought about life and death even more so in my mind, I decided to take a class in Buddhism. My father always said, “You are a Chinese, if you believe in anything at all, you have to believe in Buddhism.”

After one year of class in Buddhist philosophy, at the end of the last class, I was perplexed. I have been waiting for the master teacher to give a final conclusion about “Buddha the God”. But he never did. When I went up to him and asked him where was God in Buddhism, he smiled and said, “You got it, there is no god in Buddhism.” I was stunned and utterly disappointed.

WIthout my knowledge, God was slowly working to soften my heart. On my 1-year anniversary on the job, I pulled out from my drawer one of the many booklets that my coworker gave me, it happened that one was about the Last Days; I took it with me while I traveled to meet a friend by bus. I read the booklet and there on that crowded bus, the Holy Spirit moved me to surrender to his sovereignty. I followed the prayer that was printed in the back of the booklet and acknowledged Jesus Christ as my savior.

No church please
I did not attend church after I surrender to Jesus. My reason was that I knew I was a sinner and I did not want to hang around with other sinners; all I needed was to be with Jesus alone. My coworker knew full well my stubbornness and did not force me to go. However, he encouraged me to read the Bible. I started to read the Bible thinking I could develop a relationship with God all by myself. After 6 months I had read my way through most of the Bible. But one day I was reading John 13:34-35: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” I pondered these verses for a long time. Then I realized that I not only had to love Jesus, but also to develop relationships with his people. Though it was a difficult thing for me to do at that time, I realized that I needed to obey my Lord. Shortly after I started to attend church with my coworker.

To be in fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ is one of the best things that has ever happen to me—fellowship was nothing like I had imagined. I now know so clearly that then I had a very crooked view about going to church. Now I enjoy the fellowship of brothers and sisters in Christ no matter where I am. I found myself growing in Christ much better with all those “sinners” around me.

Knowing what life is for
The biggest change that I have experienced since I acknowledged Christ as my savior, is that I now have a purpose in life, which is to glorify God with my whole being. I realize that the “freedom” that I was so afraid to lose was not freedom at all, it was just an aimless chasing of vanity. Jesus Christ has revolutionized my life, so much so that I went against the will of my parents and quit my job, in which I was doing quite well, in order to attend seminary. In the Chinese culture, going against the will of one’s parents is quite an unusual thing. But I recognized that God wanted me to serve him in a more serious capacity and that in order to do so I needed training!

It has been a many years since the day I prayed on that crowded bus, but I experience God’s grace abundantly everyday, especially through trials and difficult times. The Lord has shown me again and again how he keeps his promises, and that he honors his covenant with me. I thank Him for not giving up on me. He is truly unchangeable in his faithfulness!

信仰基督之路

以下是我信仰基督的心路歷程，原載於布家家庭網站。

天主教小學
我爸爸媽媽都沒有宗教仰，可是他們送我到當時在香港最好的學校，那是一所天主教小學。我從小就相信這個世界上有一位神存在，但是我和祂郤沒有任何關係。當我發現生命中有更重要的事情，如友情、金錢和最重要的自由，慢慢地，神就從我的生命中淡出了。當時我對自由的看法是：隨心所欲，想做就去做。

台灣的日子
大學是在國立台灣大學唸的，大學宿舍房間共住了六個女孩子，除了我和一位台灣女同學之外，其他的室友都是基督徒。他們三年來積極地、熱心地向我們傳福音，可是郤全無結果，至少那時我是這樣想的。我對他們的關心覺得十分厭煩，更沒有興趣與這位神有任何關係，因為我認為信神就會失去我當時正在享受的自由。

大學時主修的是外國語文和文學，聖經是其中我們必定要讀的經典文學作品。我學會了如何研讀聖經美妙的文筆和結構，可是這等認識對我內在的屬靈生命完全沒有影響。生命太短暫了，我不想去尋找太過虛無飄渺的東西，我要及時行樂，能享受生命就徹底的去享受。

“耶穌佬”
大學畢業後回到香港工作，找到份好工作，十分自得，覺得可以大展拳腳。上班第一天，與我對坐的同事邀請我一起吃午飯。菜來了，二話不說，他就低下頭祈禱。我一時為之語塞，心想：“不好了！他是個耶穌佬！”我剛擺脫了在台灣的四個基督徒室友，現在每天上班竟然要對著一個基督徒。那位同事說：“神真是在追尋你，沒有放棄你。”

“耶穌佬”同事經常跟我談耶穌，又以人生和死亡等問題挑戰我，更不斷地給我宗教書籍看。剛開始的時候我還耐心地聽他說幾句，可是過了幾個月，我聽夠了，我叫他不要再跟我談耶穌了；可是，他沒有聽我的話，口邊還是掛著各種人生問題。有時候我會跟他討論得十分激烈，我告訴他我是有讀過聖經的，這本書平平無奇，並不像他所說的那樣，是“神的說話”。

唸佛
雖然我喜歡隨心所欲的生活，但是我自認是個對生命認真的人，經常思想有關生命的問題。這位基督徒同事的深入問題叫我更加想去尋找生命的意義，於是我報名去學佛。我爸爸經常說：“你是中國人，要信甚麼宗教的話，就要信佛。”

上了一年佛學，在最後一堂課中我在等待大師作總結，告訴我們佛就是神。可是他完全沒有提到這一點。下課後我問大師，佛學中難道沒有神嗎？他微笑一下，點著頭說：“你悟了！”我是多麼的驚訝和失望。

原來在不知不覺中，神在慢慢地軟化我的心。我在這公司上班一週年當天，從塞滿了耶穌佬同事給我的小冊子的抽屜裏，隨手拿了一本有關世界末日的小書，打算在坐巴士去探朋友的路程上看一看。在擠滿下班人羣的巴士上，我把這小書一口氣看完，就在這擠擁的巴士上，神感動我，叫我完全降服在祂的權能之下。我跟著小書最後頁的禱文作了祈禱，承認耶穌基督是我的救主。

謝絶教會
雖說我降服在耶穌的主權之下，但是我沒參加教會聚會。我所持的理由是因為知道我是個罪人，所以不想與其他的罪人混在一起，我單單與耶穌在一起就夠了。我的同事十分明白我倔強的性格，並沒有強逼我到教會去，他郤鼓勵我讀聖經。我開始專心的讀聖經，以為我自己一個人就能與神建立關係。六個月過去了，我也差不多看完了整本聖經。有一天我看到約翰福音13章34-35節：“我賜給你們一條新命令，乃是叫你們彼此相愛；我怎樣愛你們，你們也要怎樣相愛。你們若有彼此相愛的心，眾人因此就認出你們是我的門徒了。”我思想這段經文好長一段時間，才發現我不單要愛耶穌，更要跟他的子民建立關係。當時我性格十分倔強，要遵從耶穌這個教導一點都不容易，我知道我必定要聽從我主的說話。不久之後，我就開始跟我的同事到教會聚會。

與在基督內的朋友們一起崇拜聚會是極為美好的事，並不像我想像中的的沉悶難耐。我以前對教會的看法原來是那麼錯誤的。現在無論我到那裏，我都享受與其他基督徒在一起。我發現當我與其他“罪人”在一起的時候，我在基督裏成長得更好，更堅固。

明白生命為何
我認信基督作為我的救主和生命的主之後所經歷最大的改變，是我明白了生命的意義，那就是以我的全人去榮耀神。我醒察到我以前一直恐懼失去的自由，其實不是真自由，而是盲目地對虛空事物的追求。耶穌基督對我的生命起了翻天覆地的變化，我甚至違背雙親的意思把工作辭掉，一意孤行去讀神學。在中國文化中，違背父母的心意是不容易的事。可是我知道神要我一心一意地投身去事奉祂，我就要去接受裝備。

在那擠擁的巴士上第一次向神祈禱已經是很多年前的事了，但是我到今時今日仍然每天經歷到神豐盛的恩典，特別是在艱難困苦的日子，神的恩典就更是滿溢。主耶穌一次又一次地向我顯明祂是持守應許、履行諾言的神，祂又信守他與我所立的約。我感謝神當年沒有放棄我。祂的信實確實是永不改變的。

Inspired

"The secret of my success over the 400m is that I run the first 200m as fast as I can.
Then, for the second 200m, with God's help I run faster."

The word 'inspired' does not even start to describe how I felt after I watched 'Chariots of Fire' for about the 8th time tonight. The stories of Harold Abrahams (the U.S. athlete) and Eric Liddell (the U.K. athlete) were interesting, but what stopped me on my track was my after movie search on the internet about Eric Liddell. He owes much of his fame more to a race he didn't run than any he did.

I always knew he was born in Tianjin, China to missionary parents, I knew he died in China, but

1) I didn't know though he was born to missionary parents, he didn't see Jesus as his savior and Lord until he was 20 years old.

2) I didn't know it was only a year after he won the 400 yards gold medal in the 1924 Paris Olympics that he decided to go back to China to serve there.

3) I didn't know he sent his wife (born of Canadian missionary parents) and three young daughters back to Canada when the Japanese invaded, but decided to stay in China himself.

4) I didn't know that when Winston Churchill arranged to have a prisoner exchange with the Japanese, Eric Liddell was, of course, on the list, but gave up his place to a pregnant woman.

5) I didn't know about the stories of the many lives he has touched and changed while he suffered with them in war-torn China.

5) I didn't know that when he died of a brain tumor while a prisoner in a Japanese concentration camp in Weifang in 1945, just 5 months before the Japanese was defeated, his last words were, "It's complete surrender."

Eric Liddell surrender his all, he is a true missionary. And I am ashamed to call myself one when I read about his total obedience. He is my hero.

More holy?

Sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable when I think about our 'status' as missionaries, especially when people look at us and think 'Wow! You guys really love God!" "You scarificed a lot!"

We know in our hearts that we are just the same in our hearts as any Christians. We struggle to stay close to God, we struggle to be pure and holy, we struggle to obey God's will.

I started to have a taste of "you are holy than us" syndrome when I first got accepted into seminary. I remember even before I saw the inside of my seminary, friends at church already treated me like I suddenly know a lot about God and the Bible. Little did they know the reason why I went to seminary was because I felt like I was lacking knowledge in both!

Then came the time when I became a full-time worker "for God". I felt ashamed when believers thought I prayed 50 times a day and always got illuminated by the Holy Spirit when I read the Bible. Or they might say I had so much faith in God that they were ashamed of their distrust in God. Oh, boy! How I wish I could dig a hole and hide.

I sometimes asked myself if I am displaying myself as a holy person and that's why people would make those comments? Because if I was, I need to repent. The last thing I want to do is to make other people think that I obey better than they do, I have more faith than they do, and I always understand what the Bible says.