Afterthought of a lecture

I am auditing a Chinese Church History class at TEDS, taught by Dr. Richard Cook. The class took a field trip to Marquette University for this year's Casper Lecture. Speaker Dr. Jonathan Spence gave an informative and inspiring lecture on "Thinking it Through: Chinese and Catholics in the Seventeenth Century".
The purpose of my writing is not about what I have learn from Spence, (though I do have something to say about the lecture, well, I always have something to say about anything), rather, what I have learned about myself after the lecture.
Last night's lecture was the first time in two years and two months that I was out by myself, without Kioni and Dan, doing something that I enjoyed.
After the lecture, several of us rode back to Trinity in a van, during the course of conversation, systematic theology came up, we explained to an auditing student, Rebecca, (a lady from the community), what systematic theology was and other issues about studying theology. We also talked about our experiences with Mainland Chinese scholars and our time spent in China, etc. We had a wonderful time.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the non-theology related conversations we had with the ladies at work. What I have forgotten was that I can still think academically and talk theology even though I graduated from seminary 10 years ago and haven't been "in the loop" all these years.
This field trip was more than just a lecture to me, in fact, going back to the classroom this semester unearthed the desire to learn, a desire so strong that led me to go to seminary in the first place. I have, unknowingly and gradually, let this desire sank to the bottom of my heart, buried it deep all these years, thinking I have other more important duties to fulfill, namely, to put Dan through school and to be a mother to Kioni.
Dr. Cook's passion for Chinese Church History, classroom interactions with fellow students and the readings all help me discover something inside that I have long forgotten.
I thank Dr. Cook for offering this class, it attracted my attention, so much so that I actually took time off of work to audit ( I have to thank my boss for letting me take the time off!) I am also glad that Dr. Cook arranged for us to go to this lecture, which leads me to rediscover the part of my 'brain' that I have forgotten exists.
.

Another milestone reached

Dan just finished his ThM thesis oral defense, he passed! It was a two hour defense with Dr. Vanhoozer and Dr. McCall. He will have about half a day of clean up work to do on the thesis as requested by the professors, then he will be officially done with the thesis. All that is left is waiting for the result of the comprehensive exam. He came home after the oral defense, feeling a bit lost, everything, as far as his ThM program is concerned, is almost done. Sure he still have lots of things to do in other aspects in his life, but the ThM is done.
For me, it is a huge relief. We are, again, waiting for Kioni to wake up, then we will go to Cheesecaske Factory for an early dinner to celebrate this date that we have anticipated for so long. I take today off, need to stay home with Kioni when Dan was at school.

Thank you, Lighthouse.

What a wonderful day we had a Lighthouse Community Fellowship today! We not only received a warm welcome as the missionaries they are supporting, we also have gifts to remind us how great God has been to us through his faithful people. Marian, chairperson of the Mission committee, welcomed us into the church with beautiful corsages. Kioni was then escorted to the nursery, where they have lots of toys for her to play with. Then right at the beginning of the service, the children came holding colourful paper flowers that they made, they also held up cardboards saying, "Welcome to Lighthouse Community Fellowship, Mr. and Mrs. Bush and Kioni." I was so moved that I got tears in my eyes. Then the children walked up to us one by one to give us the flowers! Wow! I bundled them up, knowing that Kioni would absolutely love this beautiful bouquet of flowers.
After the service is over, we were invited to lunch at Ken's house with the Missions Committee. We had a great time learning more about each other. I found this group of Christians so down to earth, caring and interested in our missions that I caught myself thanking God over and over for bringing these people into our lives. Kioni was given a Noah's Ark pop-up book and a hand-made bunny toy as presents.

The big surprise came after lunch and the 'out-of-this-world' tiramisu was consumed. Mirian pointed at the center-piece, which is a beautiful vase with an incrediable flower arrangement in it and said, "Amy, this is for you." My mouth dropped. Then she said, I made this vase. For those who are artistically challenged, I mean she MADE the vase, yes, she painted it by hand and put it in her own kiln!

At the time when we were most discouraged, (when we were at only 23%), God sent this church to us and lifted our spirits. He again sent them to let us know when we are in the Philippines, our brothers and sisters in Lighthouse will be praying for us. How do I know they will actually pray for us? Well, friends, you will have to meet them to know.

Mr. Rahman, when I see you in heaven...

"Abdul Rahman, 41, has been charged with rejecting Islam, a crime under this country's (Afganistan) Islamic laws. His trial started last week and he confessed to becoming a Christian 16 years ago. If convicted, he could be executed.
But prosecutor Sarinwal Zamari said questions have been raised about his mental fitness.
"We think he could be mad. He is not a normal person. He doesn't talk like a normal person," he told The Associated Press." (Fox News)
Police arrested him last month after discovering him in possession of a Bible during questioning over a dispute for custody of his two daughters. Prosecutors have offered to drop the charges if Rahman converts back to Islam, but he has refused." (AP, photo by AP)
He doesn't talk like a 'normal' person? Well, so are many Christians who are touched by God's grace and love. Tell me who in their right minds would quit their good paying jobs and comfortable lifestyles to enter seminary so that they could be better equipped to serve Jesus' church? I see hundreds of them in the four years I have been in TEDS working as a Field Education Coordinator. Not to mentioned I did just that myself 13 years ago, and Dan started on the same path 4 years ago. Tell me who would pour out their resources and pray for those whom they might never meet, simply hoping that the good news that Jesus Christ brought 2000 years ago would reach them? Tell me who in their right mind would hang on to a God whom he cannot touch nor see even as the risk of his own life? Plenty. Plenty of people are acting like they have 'mental problems'. All because of someone named Jesus Christ. Are we all crazy?
What is this Afghan man trying to do? What good does it do to his daughters if he is put to death? I can almost hear people crying out, "It is just a religion, pick one that benefits you, choose a god who can save your life, so you can still live and be a father to your daughters!"
When I told my non-believing parents I was going to attend seminary, my father did not even want to talk about it, my mother broke down and cried. They didn't understand why I had to "go that far". If only they knew, what I did was nothing comparing to the thousands of Christians who put their life at risk for the sake of Jesus Christ every day, some paid the ultimate price.
"Hundreds of men and women are in prison serving sentences that range from a few months to life. They are not criminals who have robbed or murdered other citizens but Christians who were put on trial for their faith in Christ and found guilty. They could have avoided prison by simply denying allegiance to the Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, they are literally “doing time for God.”" (Voice of the Martyrs)
Don't know how this trial will turn out. No matter what the outcome is, I want to remember this face, I would like to meet Mr. Rahman in person when we enter into the glory of God someday. I want to tell him I saw him on American TV saying, "I am a Christian, I believe in the Trinity." He did not look scared, he was smiling joyfully. The only explaination I could have for someone who is facing possible death to act that way, is that he has a life so abundant, a promise so true, and a hope so great that he is at total peace. What happened to Mr. Rahman reminds me of the lyric of this song:
My peace I give unto you
It's a peace that the world cannot give
It's a peace that the world cannot understand
Peace to love
Peace to give
My peace I give unto you

It's done!

Dan just called, he is done with his major comprehensive exam for the ThM program. He said he could answer any of the questions, he just picked those he knew the best. He said, "I am well prepared." He thinks he is going to pass. Click here to read his own words on the comp.
The result of the exam will come in 2-4 weeks. There are other work to do on various fund-raising engagements, e.g., preaching and presenting our missions in a supporting church next Sunday, and he has to prepare for a 3 hour lecture for another potential supporting church.
The extreme stress is over, whew! What a relief! Both for him and for our family.
In the mean time, we will wait till Kioni wakes up from her nap and we will go out for lunch to celebrate.
Photos (left): Dan holding the last Red Bull from a box of 4 that he bought at a gas station at 5:00am this morning when he went to school to study. (Right) Dan collapsed on the blow-up bed that he has been using in the living room so he can study late without waking me up.

March with God in March

There is a sign outside of the Presbyterian Church near our house, it says, "March in God in March." Kind of hard when it looks like this though. Probably should change it to, "Ski" with God in March.

幾幀舊照片

爸爸警察學堂畢業照片（最後排右邊第四個就是我爸爸）

(click photo to enlarge 按圖片放大)

爸媽結婚照

(click photo to enlarge 按圖片放大)

1965年祖母六十一壽筵（香港灣仔六國飯店）我正在向堂姊嘉潔搜集盧家歷史資料，會在這?加上。

(click photo to enlarge 按圖片放大)

Laughter is cholesterol-free!

I am convinced that few things are more important than a good sense of humor in leading a balanced, joy-filled, peaceful life in a fast-forward world.

Laughter, stress, and worry cannot coexist for long. Stress inflates our balloons to the popping point; laughter slowly releases the pressure. Laughter is cholesterol-free and contains no MSG, no fat grams, and no negative side effects. Although it got me into a ton of trouble in fifth grade, laughter never committed a crime or started a war, and there is no record of anyone who died laughing. It has finished many an argument, however. I have seen laughter disarm, revive, motivate, encourage, and cheer. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people, and it is one of the few things the government still doesn't tax!

From Who Put My Life on Fast-Forward?, copyright ? 2002 by Phil Callaway. Published by Harvest House Publishers.

Spring Break

It is March.
It snowed.
It is Spring break.
Obviously, spring is taking a break. There are four inches of snow on the ground. This is the woods behind the Rodine parking lot at Trinity. Snapped this shot before walking into the office this morning. This is Chicago.

王昭君與我

當年在中國神學研究院有師兄師姐同學稱我為王昭君。不要誤會了，我被冠此名非因我有沉魚落雁之容、閉月羞花之貌，而是我與一名番邦男子訂了婚盟，神學院畢業之後就要冒著「風沙」，遠嫁到塞北番邦之地去「和番」了。對我這個生在香港的女子來說，美國真是塞北之地， 不因其荒無人煙，乃因其氣候與香港比較實是寒冷。搬到芝加哥之後，就更深體會到詩人林升在七言詩裡描述的南方景象﹕「山外青山樓外樓，西胡歌舞幾時休，暖風薰得遊人醉，直把杭州作汴州。」

看王昭君的生平，她的性格有一點與我挺相似的。「昭君寧為玉碎、不作瓦全，怎也不肯賄賂宮廷畫師毛延 壽，結果被毛延壽醜 化，在她的雙頰上加上了一顆豆大的剋夫痣，所以，昭君入宮幾年間，都沒有機會見到皇帝。」王昭君明明知道她倔強的結果就必有如此下場，被冷落在後宮中，連皇帝的背影也見不到，但是她仍然堅持不行賄。她要不是真笨、就是壓根兒不願意被皇帝寵幸，要不是她就真的有骨氣。有時候我硬脖子（或稱笨）的程度與王昭君不相上下，明明知道是要吃虧的了，但仍堅持己見。事後想想，也沒有甚麼好的理由，只是倔強，堅持「原則」而已。不要以為這是跟隨耶穌後所結的「屬靈果子」，我在信主前就已經是這樣，就是倔強。所以嘉洛（我妹妹）多年前對我說我最好找一份有使命感的工作，要不然，我做其他的工作是不會滿足，不會長久。我想倔強加上願意冒險，就形成了「王昭君」和我所做的抉擇﹕拋下一切到「塞外」去。

另一點我和王昭君相像的地方，是我們都是自願嫁到 「番邦」 的。王昭君自動請纓嫁到匈奴之地（今內蒙古），沒有人逼她去。她隨夫到匈奴地之後，很快就會習慣了那裡的生活，生了一個兒子。住在異地習慣不習慣也都要 儘量適應，不然的話，就會像一些海外華人那樣，一生住在華埠、不單家在唐人街、平日上班、買菜、探朋友、看醫生、看電影都在唐人街。我想在匈奴之地並沒有 大量漢人聚集的地方，我剛來美國的時候，因為嫁的番王是美國空軍軍官，住的是空軍基地，朋友沒有一個是中國人，更不用說是會說中文的中國人了，要說廣東話 就只有打電話回家的時候說幾句。要買中國菜要開車到隔鄰的州去買。快點適應當地生活是有利無弊的。

回到王昭君，在她遠赴塞北之後兩年，丈夫匈奴王韓邪單于就死了。王昭君上書朝廷要求返回中原，可是漢成帝命她依從胡人風俗，於是她唯有再嫁給她亡夫髮妻所生的兒子。（不知道那漢成帝所持的是甚麼理由。）以下 這一點我就絕對不像王昭君，我和番王結婚快有十年了，雖然像王昭君那樣也生了一個孩子， 但是相信若神容許的話，我們會有好些年日在一起。我也想過如果番王蒙主寵召，比我早回到天家享天福，我會怎麼辦。雖然我沒有漢成帝那樣的人物命令我怎麼做，我深信到那時候我的主耶穌會叫我知道我是要留在番邦還是回到「中原」，又或者有別的地方神是想我去的。

見 到王昭君被逼再嫁，真是為她傷心。我現在的想法是希望神不會叫我再嫁，嫁一次就夠了。再嫁又要重新了解另一個人的一切，太累了。嘗試了解番王十多年了，還 是不大見成績 。可是若我的主讓我再嫁，那麼相信他會叫我嫁一個我心甘情願嫁的人，累一點也沒辦法了。番王不喜歡與我談這些事，我對他說不談就不代表這些事情就不會發表 生，在事情沒有發生之前輕鬆地談談，總比事情發生之後手足無措，不知怎麼想的好。誰也不願意面對這 些事情發生的可能性，但是聖經詩篇九十篇中說我們沒有人能夠數算自己的日子，誰又說得準我們的將來會是怎樣的呢？（番王看不懂我這篇日誌，不然的話，他又有話說的了。）

如果你預備作「王昭君」，是個「王昭君」，娶了個「王昭君」，又或者認識「王昭君」，歡迎在此頁上留下意見。

Who does she look like?

I once wrote on a previous post asking readers to vote on who Kioni looks like: mommy or daddy. The truth is, since Kioni was born, EVERYONE from my side of the family said she looks like her daddy. Here in the states, the result is half and half. Strangely, Chinese tend to say she looks like daddy, and half of the Americans said the same. The other half said she is a good mix. Well, I think they just want to make me feel better by saying so.
Today, I got an email from my cousin Canty from Hong Kong, she sent me a photo of myself when I was... I don't know how old. It seems like I do look like Kioni's mom! Well, at least, we both share a lack of hair. By the way, doesn't my dad looked pretty handsome?

我在前幾個月放了兩張照片在網上，叫你們看看祺祺像我還是像DAN。老實說，自從祺祺出生以來，所有在香港的家人朋友都說她像DAN。在美國這邊的人的看 法是一半一半的。奇怪的是，在這邊的中國人全都說她像DAN，美國人有一半說她像DAN，另一半說她是我和DAN的混合。（我想他們這樣說法是讓我有點安慰。）
今天收到香港的堂姊嘉潔電郵給我的照片，是我小時候所拍的一張照片，不知道那時我有多大了，從這張照片看起來，我沒錯是祺祺的媽呢！起碼我倆都沒有多少頭髮。你們看我爸年輕時挺帥的，是不是？

何處是吾家？

很想用中文寫一點東西，但是苦於沒有時間在家用電腦，所以遲遲都沒有寫。這幾天DAN出外工作四天，我要請假在家照顧祺祺，是在家用電 腦寫中文的大好機會，可是要寫得快，因為是趁祺祺睡午覺的時候才可以用電腦，不然的話，她起床後就要叫我陪她玩，沒時間可以靜靜的坐下來寫東西。
今 年九月十五日就是我來美國十週年紀念，真不能相信已經過了那麼長的時間。我仍然是那麼想家，仍然想念在教會朋友之間的親密溝通，想到鮮蝦雲吞麵、豉油王蒸 魚、芥蘭炒牛肉仍然垂涎三尺。話又說回來，有好多香港的”特別之處“我一點都不惦記，如街上人多車多、空氣污染、噪音嚴重、居住環境狹窄等。
可是我仍然以自己為香港人引以為豪，雖然在美國住了十年，由於DAN在空軍的原故，我們這些年來搬了五次家，住了三個不同的城市，去過四間不同的教會，總有點是游牧民族的感覺。何處是吾家，真難說得準。
希望在今年下半年搬回亞洲（菲律賓）去住兩年，時間雖然不長，但仍然十分期盼那天的來臨，能夠與香港接近一點總是好過一點。但是這兩年後，很可能會到歐洲去，那之後怎麼樣，就只有神知道了。
四十二年歲的人許多都在打算怎樣安定下來，但似乎我才開始走動走動。
無論將來如何，深信都是在神手中，我所渡過或將會渡過的日子，祂都知道，祂都計劃好了。