They are coming after me!

Indeed the world is becoming smaller and there are a lot more exchanges among peoples and cultures, but being a "foreigner" in Asia is still somewhat different.

It is OK for Dan, he is used to it since he married me and he has travelled to Asia many times. However, little Kioni is not understanding some of the unwanted attention that are given to her. Wherever we go in Asia, she draws attention because she how she looks. To westerners' eyes, she looks Chinese, to Chinese, she looks absolutely western. When we went to Pizza Hut in Xiamen, one of the waitress stared at us three for a long time while we were waiting for the elevator, finally she asked me if Kioni is mixed, and if I was her mother. She has an expression of total disbelief when I answered 'yes' to both of her questions. She finally said, "But she doesn't look Chinese AT ALL!'

It was fine in Hong Kong, people there see lots of foreigners, so people might turn and take a second look at her, but not much after that. In Cebu, where a lot of people worship mixed kids, thinking they are the most beautiful type of people on the planet, Kioni is physically touched a lot, on her face, on her arm, on her head, on her legs, etc. More than once, kids in Cebu just come up to Kioni and stood within 2 inches in front of her and started touching her. I don't care how old you are, you just won't put up with things like this. As a result, Kioni screams whenever she sees strangers, children or adult approaching her. "They are coming after me, Mommy!" Then she would run to me for protection. She always has this fear and said such things when someone comes a bit closer. Eventually, I have to tell her people do that to her because she is cute. She still screams, but not as loud as before.

Here is Xiamen, people are more reserved, a lot of long stares will follow us as a family, a few bold ones will touch Kioni with lightening speed. Even with just stares, they are sometimes hard to deal with. Yesterday she couldn't take it anymore and asked me over and over why people look at her and smile at her, that was when we were taking a ferry to Gulangyu. There were so many people on the ferry that she couldn't hide from them even I was holding her and she buried her face on my shoulder. Eventually, I just have to tell Kioni to ignore them. I know this is not the nicest thing to say, but she just cannot possibily deal with all these attention. I have a taste of how being a celebrity must be like. (Pay attention to the staring eyes in the background of the photo.)

Every day from going out of our hotel room, to getting into the elevator to walking in the street and sitting down in a restaurant, it never fails that she, or we, drew a lot of attention. Dan already sticks out like a sore thumb, then with me talking to Dan in English, and with a mixed kid in tow, people are bound to stare and point, this makes our outing quite uncomfortable sometimes. Both Dan and I have learned to ignore the stares, but Kioni is still figuring out why people would touch her, stare at her, smile at her, and a few even attempt to hold her.

As a mother, I feel like I have failed her when someone successfully touched her and made her scream. I feel like I failed to protect her, I was her only defense, yet some people are so quick, some sneak in from behind, some would touch her dangling leg even when I was clutching her tight in my arms.

On the up side, though, she has priviledges that a "regular" kid does not have, she gets colorful bowls and plates to eat with, she gets special little attention that other kids won't get. She has gotten so many extra gifts when we go into stores to buy things. She got a bowl and chopstick gift set because we bought a $20 USD worth of things, while that gift set is for customers who have purchased $400 USD or more. The guy behind the counter just said, "I will give you a set, just because you are so cute." She has gotten little free gifts from shops where we bought stuff. People just found her irrestibly cute and had to give her something to please her.

All in all, it is not healthy for Kioni to be admired for something that neither is her virtue nor her merit. I am worried that she would grow up being used to having people around her adoring her just because she is different looking. I am at lost in what to do right now. Maybe living in a western society will give her a better share in life. It must be hard for long-term missionaries who try to raise their children in Asia, however, I trust that God will give us a way to deal with all these if He indeed would call us to serve him long-term in Asia.