The purpose of my writing is not about what I have learn from Spence, (though I do have something to say about the lecture, well, I always have something to say about anything), rather, what I have learned about myself after the lecture.
Last night's lecture was the first time in two years and two months that I was out by myself, without Kioni and Dan, doing something that I enjoyed.
After the lecture, several of us rode back to Trinity in a van, during the course of conversation, systematic theology came up, we explained to an auditing student, Rebecca, (a lady from the community), what systematic theology was and other issues about studying theology. We also talked about our experiences with Mainland Chinese scholars and our time spent in China, etc. We had a wonderful time.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the non-theology related conversations we had with the ladies at work. What I have forgotten was that I can still think academically and talk theology even though I graduated from seminary 10 years ago and haven't been "in the loop" all these years.
This field trip was more than just a lecture to me, in fact, going back to the classroom this semester unearthed the desire to learn, a desire so strong that led me to go to seminary in the first place. I have, unknowingly and gradually, let this desire sank to the bottom of my heart, buried it deep all these years, thinking I have other more important duties to fulfill, namely, to put Dan through school and to be a mother to Kioni.
Dr. Cook's passion for Chinese Church History, classroom interactions with fellow students and the readings all help me discover something inside that I have long forgotten.
I thank Dr. Cook for offering this class, it attracted my attention, so much so that I actually took time off of work to audit ( I have to thank my boss for letting me take the time off!) I am also glad that Dr. Cook arranged for us to go to this lecture, which leads me to rediscover the part of my 'brain' that I have forgotten exists.
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This field trip was more than just a lecture to me, in fact, going back to the classroom this semester unearthed the desire to learn, a desire so strong that led me to go to seminary in the first place. I have, unknowingly and gradually, let this desire sank to the bottom of my heart, buried it deep all these years, thinking I have other more important duties to fulfill, namely, to put Dan through school and to be a mother to Kioni.
Dr. Cook's passion for Chinese Church History, classroom interactions with fellow students and the readings all help me discover something inside that I have long forgotten.
I thank Dr. Cook for offering this class, it attracted my attention, so much so that I actually took time off of work to audit ( I have to thank my boss for letting me take the time off!) I am also glad that Dr. Cook arranged for us to go to this lecture, which leads me to rediscover the part of my 'brain' that I have forgotten exists.
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So is this rediscovery a good thing or bad thing? Will this turn you away from the "more important duties"? Sometimes a temptation appears in very very justified forms...
ReplyDeleteRediscovering my 'intellectual' brain is not at all a tempatation to forsake my other important duties, (don't worry), rather, it is a reminder to myself to add this element back into my life, afterall, theology was my first love, well, I lied, that's after dogs and plants. I started to develop an interest in theology long before I met Dan, long before I had Kioni.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, I do not think I am THAT intellectual. Dan asked me if I would want to do a PhD, my mother even offered my part of the would-be inheritance to pay for it. That is quite tempting, but I know I am not PhD material, research is fine, but writing a dissertation is a killer, I do not have the courage to put my old self through this kind of torture. I am much useful in other areas than sitting there writing a dissertation.
So my dear friend, I am satisfied by once-in-a-while outings, they are not going to turn me away from my more important duties.