攫住我心

很多人覺得要應付生活已經很煩，還管什麼政治？為何六四過了二十多年仍每年有成千上萬的人在維園舉行燭光晚會記念？太傻了吧！當年生的一代現在都已大學畢業了，投入社會工作，積極賺錢買樓，積極尋找另一半結婚生子。六四那一代過去了，成了中年男子，中年婦人了，還吵甚麼吵？政治不是我們普通人搞的，沒錢沒後台的人，休想在政治在有甚麼影響。歷史，就留待研究歷史的人去看，普通人就繼續做我們的普通事。

從小就不喜歡歷史，中學的歷史科一敗塗地。不關心歷史，因為覺得歷史是過去了的事，為何要關心？當下才重要，過去的，就讓它過去。梁壽華牧師改變了我對歷史的看法，第一次讀歷史考了個九十八分的，是在晚間神學課程中修的中國教會史，梁牧師的教學非常生動，不單把沉悶的歷史講得有趣，更叫我看見原來歷史不單是過去的事件，更反照現今世代，也許更隱隱地看見未來。

政治兩個字聽起來很冷，沒人性，從政的都是奸的。然而在華盛頓住了三年後發現政治根本就是生活的一部份。教會中認識的人中不乏在國會上班的「重要人物」，然而看見他們從政的動力，原來並非為一己的利益，而是為了回應對神的愛，想叫這個國家的制度更合理、公義。聽見一位在運輸部工作的女士討論如何帶領她的下屬，搜集資料來支持他們提出的一個有關小孩子坐車安全的全國性案，我深受感動，最後她說：「這個法案若通過，不知道可以保障多少小孩子的性命安全，這是我從政的原因。」

 政治和歷史原本都是事不關己，己不勞心的事，可是今天我認識到政治和歷史都是生命中不可或缺的部份，六四、教會歷史、政治與我息息相關，都攫住我心。

Life

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me... It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

1. Life isn't fair, but it 's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23... Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words “In five years, will this matter? '
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Placido Domingo, John Denver - Perhaps Love

Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm.

It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm.
And in those times of trouble, when you are most alone.
The memory of love will bring you home.

Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door.
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more.
And even if you lose yourself and don't know what to do.
The memory of love will see you through.

Oh love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel.
For some a way of living, for some a way to feel.
And some say love is holding on and some say letting go.
And some say love is everything, some say they don't know.

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain.
Like a fire when it's cold outside, thunder when it rains.
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true.
My memories of love will be of you.

And some say love is holding on and some say letting go.
And some say love is everything, some say they don't know.

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain ("change" in another version).
Like a fire when it's cold outside, thunder when it rains.
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true.
My memories of love will be of you.

Chill out, I got it!

I was chatting with my friend from seminary for the first time on Facebook, she asked me how we were doing in Aberdeen. Since we have been friends for 16 years, I did not hesitate to tell her that financially, we are tighter than ever. We need student loan to pay for Dan's tuition, the support of faithful churches and individuals to our ministry does help to pay the monthly rent, however, everyday expenses is still an uncertainty. It depends on the exchange rate, sometimes we have enough, sometimes we don't.

About a month or so after I shared it with my friend, she wrote to me saying that she is going to talk to a few people at her church to see if they would like to support us. I was quite surprised at her initiation, and extremely thankful, however, I was highly skeptical, wondering who in the world would support someone whom they have never heard of!

In fact, Dan and I were wondering if we should continue with this ministry, we would love to continue, because if only just one person is saved, it is all worth it. But if the funding is not sufficient, we just don't know how we can continue.

About a month after that email, she wrote to me again, telling me she has talked to three people and asked me to pray while they were making their decisions.

Not long after that, she told me one of the three potential supporters emailed her a list of questions, so I answered them all. My friend said when he decides that he is going to support us, he will write to me directly. A few days later, I got his email, he is going to support us! Not only that, he has made a 3 year committment, (depending on yearly review).

Now the interesting thing is, just days earlier, Dan and I were figuring out how we are going to pay for the ReachGlobal European Conference, which all missionaries in Europe have to attend.

Our account with ReachGlobal has two categories, one is our monthly salary, the second is ministry expense. The expenses of the conference can be taken out from the ministry expense, however, it can only be reimbursed when our overall account has over 4,000 USD in it.

The end of last year, our support level was low, and we had to stop our monthly salary for two months in order not to dip further down into the red. Since then, God has provided through various faithful supporters, and we are able to be paid monthly again. However, for another two months more, we cannot reimburse our ministry expenses, because we didn't have more than 4,000 USD in our account. What that means is that whatever ministry expenses we accumulate, we have to pay for them out of our salary. We are thankful that we do have enough to cover our ministry expense now, but paying for the whole trip for three people? That would put us right back into the hole!

However, ReachGlobal requires that we let them know our travel details before April 15th. Which means we have to book our plane tickets, train tickets, book hotel rooms, etc, with no time to figure out where the money will come from. Dan and I spent days online trying to get the cheapest plane tickets, we booked hostels, etc, but still wondering if, for the first time in my life, I will have to owe the credit card company money!

I was worried, my heart unsettled.

Little did I know, at the time when all those worries were overwhelming me, God has already prepared this supporter from afar, someone whom I have never met, never talked to, not even one direct email exchange, since we have been communicated once only, through my friend.

I didn't tell Dan about my friend's proposal because Dan tends to get quite stressed out when it is related to support. When I told him yesterday, he just laughed and said, "You have to thank Ella and tell her now we have money for groceries."

Then Dan started to wonder if our newest supporter knows "everything" about our ministry. I told him I think he knows as much as Ella knows, and as much as our newsletter has talked about. Then Dan said, "I wonder why he would support us without knowing EVERYTHING." (If you know Dan, you know how thorough a person he is.) I then answer him, "I think because God wants us to know it is not our efforts, our talks, our persuation that caused our supporters to support us, it is Him, and Him alone."

Not only God has provided financially, through Ella and this supporter, He is telling us that this ministry is to be continued. Keep on going even though the response might be slow. This is the biggest confirmation for me that we are to charge ahead, no matter what the outcome is.

When I thanked my friend Ella for what she has done, for her taking the initiation, for her not to say, "Go in peace, my sister," for her to follow up with actions. She wrote back and said, "Money is of so little significance in the God's kingdom."

I am surprised at how much worries I have gone through, while all these years, God has not failed, not even once, in taking care of us in every way. This has proven again that I am a person of little faith, but God doesn't condemn me for that, rather, He opens His arm and embraced me and tell me,

"Chill out, I got it!"
..

我為何愛花....

This is a translation of what I wrote in our Jan-Feb 2009 newsletter.

因為花不作假。我以它們被創造的樣子來欣賞它們：簡潔、美艷、燦爛悅目的顏色和形狀，能把最有才華的畫家的作品比下來。然而，它們不會為你妥協：奶白色的玫瑰絕對不會因為你喜歡粉紅色而變為粉紅色，除非你強把花剪下來放入粉紅色的水中。它們全心全力地盛放幾天或幾個星期，然後它們的工作就完成了。

自然界中有很多動物基於不同的原因會作假裝，主要原因是防護自己的生命，像變色龍或八爪魚那樣。相反地，人類假裝不單單是為了掩蓋真相，而且還故意造成別人的痛苦和傷害。為什麼呢？因為我們違背了上帝，犯了罪了、花郤沒有犯罪，花不能犯罪。花存在的目的是要彰顯神的榮耀，花不作假，只是靜靜地從土裏生長出來，展示令人眼花繚亂的美態。

這就是我喜歡花的原因。春天來了，是鮮花綻放的時節。我喜歡替花拍照，捕捉花的美姿，因為我每次通過鏡頭看見花的時候，它們提醒我耶穌所說的話：（馬太福音第六章）

「你們那一個能用思慮使壽數多加一刻呢？何必為衣裳憂慮呢？你想野地裡的百合花怎麼長起來；他也不勞苦，也不紡線。然而我告訴你們，就是所羅門極榮華的時候，他所穿戴的，還不如這花一朵呢！..... 所以，不要憂慮說：吃甚麼？喝甚麼？穿甚麼？..... 你們需用的這一切東西，你們的天父是知道的。你們要先求他的國和他的義，這些東西都要加給你們了。所以，不要為明天憂慮，因為明天自有明天的憂慮；一天的難處一天當就夠了。」

Inspiration from a diamond rose

I often wonder how it would be like for people who can basically walk into a store and buy ANYTHING they want, price is not a issue, because there will always be money at their disposal. I finally have a taste of that when playing with Growing Gift in Facebook.

You can send Growing Gifts to friends, and it is particularly attractive to someone like me, who cannot resist plants and flowers. The trick is, you only have so many seeds to 'buy' the flowers, they all have a 'price'. The more special it is, the more seeds it requires.

Now, the one 'plant' that costs the most seeds, is a rose that is made of diamond. It costs 1000 seeds. Which is hard to obtain, and even if you get that many seeds, you have to weight if you want to spend it all on one plant, or if you would rather use it on other plants.

I surprisingly, found a way to obtain as many seeds as I want, legally (I am not breaking any Facebook rules, nor am I hacking in anything. (Well, not like I can hack into anything even if I want to.) I just found a way. Which in just one night by working hard on it, I obtained over a thousand seeds, and in the process of doing that, I also benefited my friends. After a while, I gradually accumulated several thousand seeds.

The big question comes: Do I want to spend a thousand seeds on the diamond rose? Does it even worth it?
Suddenly, I understand why rich people might not necessarily be happy with all they have.
They are not happy because the diamond rose that costs 1000 seeds are not that special anymore. Yes, I worked hard in obtaining it, but now, it is in my pocket, what's next? They don't have anything that costs more than 1000 seeds.

I suddenly understand why Michael Phelps smokes marijuana and drink excessively. After you reach the top, where are you going to go next?
.

Brilliant mind

I am surprised how easily C.S. Lewis communicates with little minds, how brilliant it is to be able to pass over thoughts and emotions through simple words 45 years after he died! What kind of gift is that, to be able to write so many genre of literature and be so good at it! God truly bless some people with a brilliant mind, Lewis sure was one of them.

Kioni just finished reading The Magician's Nephew in the Chronicles of Narnia. She loves every single bit of it and asked to read the rest of the Chronicles. What a big mistake I made to leave my set of Chronicles of Narnia back in the U.S.! Well, I didn't think my 4 year old would be enjoying it that much, to tell the truth. So the best we can do for now is to show her the movie The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Some scenes in the movie are a bit too scary for her, like the scene where Aslan was killed. Kioni doesn't like see the "ugly dudes."

Kioni not only loves the story, she even starts imagining her stuff toy animals coming alive and living in Narnia. She makes her pet sheep toy BaaBaa come alive, and the sheep bite the head of the White Witch off! I at first thought it is not possible that a sheep can bite a person's head off, and it is also too violent. When I was set to correct her, I was reminded that in fantasy land, everything is possible. And wars are always violent, so I let it go.

We are blessed

Dan and I figured something out while we were in Hong Kong for Chinese New Year, visiting family. We realized that God might have called us to Cebu for our benefits, much more so than for the benefits of the people whom we minister to.

God is obviously teaching us BIG lessons on patience and endurance, and the biggest enlightenment is that we suddenly realize how our much we complained!

God is not done with us yet, it took us six months to see what we saw. We still have another year and a half here, we will see what God will show us and what He will do n our lives, and the lives that we touch here in Cebu.