One third of a chocolate bar!?

A study of older men in the Netherlands, known for its luscious chocolate, indicated those who ate the equivalent of one-third of a chocolate bar (about 10 grams) every day had lower blood pressure and a reduced risk of death. The men who ate the most products made from cocoa beans — including cocoa drinks, chocolate bars and chocolate pudding — had lower blood pressure and a 50 percent lower risk of death.
Dan was jumping up with joy upon hearing this yesterday. I am not a big chocolate fan, but come on, the reality is, who can stop at one-third of a chocolate bar!!! I guess if you can stop at that, there are lots of things that you won't overdo in life, that pretty much says why you might live longer.

Will it ever end!?

I was out of the office for two days for being sick, today is the first day I came back, but the drugs did little to help my attention at work. I am miserable! Our house look like a CVS drugstore, name a drug, and we have it, both for adult and children.
I haven't been this sick for years. Not only the coughing was bad, it is also the headaches and the nasal and chest congestions. Drugs do help, but not to the extend where I can function. I am thankful, though, Kioni is getting better, she sleeps through the night without waking up with a stuffy nose. Dan put a blow-up bed in the middle of our tiny living room, so I could lay down there while Kioni plays. She didn't understand why mommy doesn't want to get up and play with her, but mommy will jump up and clean her nose at soon as she saw her runny nose.
I am pretty useless at work, I am more worried about spreading the virus then having to take sick time off. Whatever I have is ferocious, not a good thing to catch.
Last night when I was coughing my lungs out, I wonder if this will end. I know, it will, but when you are suffering, days seems like years.
For all those who are believers, don't you long for the days when we don't have to combat stuffy nose and achy bones anymore? Jesus, come back soon.

All Bushes down

All of us are sick. Kioni started to have fever on Feburary13 (Monday), on Thursday, I started to feel bad in my throat, Friday, I had a fever, it lasted two days. Last night, Dan started to feel really bad. And along with that, are extremely bad coughing, green slime, sleeplessness, etc. Kioni is getting better, though she still coughs like crazy, I am over with the fever, but still in bad shape. Came to work this morning, but I lost my voice, so I am pretty much useless staying here. I 'talked' to my boss, upon hearing my 'voice', he just said, 'Amy, go home.' This is the first time in the Bushes' history that all three of us are down. It is worth writing it down in a post.

The safest place on earth

No, I don't mean the safest place in the world is the Philippines.

Mudslides buried the farming village Guinsaugon of Teyte province in the Philippines, there were 2500 villagers who lived there. Our friends and families might be concerned for us since we are leaving for the Philippines for missions work. However, I want to make it clear that we are not going to a village, rather, the second largest city in the Philippines, Cebu City in the Cebu province. It is the 'second most important metropolitan center in the country', after Manila, the capital.
While I want to stress that natural disasters like the above mentioned is not a direct threat in a metropolitan city like Cebu City, I do have to quote Psalm 90 詩 篇 90 篇 to show how fragile our lives are.
Anything can happen to us anytime, our lives are not in our own hands. Know Jesus Christ and his salvation is the only way to live in this world without being overwhelmed by the incredible frailty of life. Being in the center of God's will is the safest place on earth.

(A prayer of Moses the man of God. 神 人 摩 西 的 祈 禱 )
1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.
主 啊 ， 你 世 世 代 代 作 我 們 的 居 所 。
2 Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
諸 山 未 曾 生 出 ， 地 與 世 界 你 未 曾 造 成 ， 從 亙 古 到 永 遠 ， 你 是 神 。
3 You turn men back to dust, saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."
你 使 人 歸 於 塵 土 ， 說 ： 你 們 世 人 要 歸 回 。
4 For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night.
在 你 看 來 ， 千 年 如 已 過 的 昨 日 ， 又 如 夜 間 的 一 更 。
5 You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning-
你 叫 他 們 如 水 沖 去 ； 他 們 如 睡 一 覺 。 早 晨 ， 他 們 如 生 長 的 草 ，
6 though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered.
早 晨 發 芽 生 長 ， 晚 上 割 下 枯 乾 。
7 We are consumed by your anger and terrified by your indignation.
我 們 因 你 的 怒 氣 而 消 滅 ， 因 你 的 忿 怒 而 驚 惶 。
8 You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.
你 將 我 們 的 罪 孽 擺 在 你 面 前 ， 將 我 們 的 隱 惡 擺 在 你 面 光 之 中 。
9 All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan.
我 們 經 過 的 日 子 都 在 你 震 怒 之 下 ； 我 們 度 盡 的 年 歲 好 像 一 聲 歎 息 。
10 The length of our days is seventy years— or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
我 們 一 生 的 年 日 是 七 十 歲 ， 若 是 強 壯 可 到 八 十 歲 ； 但 其 中 所 矜 誇 的 不 過 是 勞 苦 愁 煩 ， 轉 眼 成 空 ， 我 們 便 如 飛 而 去 。
11 Who knows the power of your anger? For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.
誰 曉 得 你 怒 氣 的 權 勢 ？ 誰 按 著 你 該 受 的 敬 畏 曉 得 你 的 忿 怒 呢 ？
12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
求 你 指 教 我 們 怎 樣 數 算 自 己 的 日 子 ， 好 叫 我 們 得 著 智 慧 的 心 。
13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants.
耶 和 華 啊 ， 我 們 要 等 到 幾 時 呢 ？ 求 你 轉 回 ， 為 你 的 僕 人 後 悔 。
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
求 你 使 我 們 早 早 飽 得 你 的 慈 愛 ， 好 叫 我 們 一 生 一 世 歡 呼 喜 樂 。
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.
求 你 照 著 你 使 我 們 受 苦 的 日 子 ， 和 我 們 遭 難 的 年 歲 ， 叫 我 們 喜 樂 。
16 May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children.
願 你 的 作 為 向 你 僕 人 顯 現 ； 願 你 的 榮 耀 向 他 們 子 孫 顯 明 。
17 May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.
願 主 ─ 我 們 神 的 榮 美 歸 於 我 們 身 上 。 願 你 堅 立 我 們 手 所 做 的 工 ； 我 們 手 所 做 的 工 ， 願 你 堅 立 。

A comment by Patrick

Our family is part of a post that my friend, Patrick, posted in his blog. If you can read Chinese, you will be able to verify, through Patrick's own words, how difficult a person I was (actually still am) before Jesus found me. It took Patrick a long while to pound the gospel in my head and to convince me that Christian fellowship is necessary for my spiritual growth. Patrick is a fine example of a 'good and faithful' servant. I am not upgrading him to a saint, what I am saying is that if we have more believers like Patrick, whom relentlessly shares the gospel in spite of rejection, the Christian church will be more vibrant and alive. Looking back, I am grateful for God putting someone like Patrick in my path. It has been 19 years since I first worked with Patrick, God has been true and faithful all these years.

Super dogs

This bull terrier Rufus won the Best in Show in the 130th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show last night. I love dogs, but still think that dog shows are quite a unique way of demonstrating how humans dominate the world. You breed a bunch of dogs, raise them, train them, groom them, ship them all over the country in cages, groom them some more, put them in the ring, make them run, show their teeth, their coats, that is suppose to tell people how good a specimen your dog is in that particular group, in fact, it is to show how great a job you have done. Is the prize for the dog? Or for the humans.
I don't know, I have lots of emotions when it comes to dogs. After I lost Meme, I don't want to have another dog, don't want to go through that pain of having to decide life or death for a dog that I have come to get so attached to. But anytime I see a dog, I still smile and stare. Oh, no, that won't happen when I see a baby, sorry for all of you baby-lovers out there.

Thank God for creating dogs. It is hard to imagine a heaven without dogs. ( I know you dog-fearers would beg to differ). You might think I have some problems with my theology, but if you cannot show me proof from the Bible that there will be no dogs, then I am going to believe there will be. And dog-fearers, don't be afraid, you won't be afraid of dogs anymore when you are in heaven, I am sure you won't see any ferocious dogs either.

Photo provided by Associated Press, Reuters and AFP.

Cholesterol and others

Just came back from a free cholesterol, HDL (High-density lipoprotein, good cholesterol), LDL (Low-density lipoprotein, bad cholesterol), Triglycerides and Glucose screening test on campus. While I had extremely high LDL before, so much so that my doctor put me on medication, however, after eating oatmeal for six months every morning, it seems like my cholesterol has come down quite a bit. THAT is something to be thankful for. My glucose is at a desirable range, and so is my triclycerides.
Ah, how do you age gracefully? Have Christ in your heart. That's the best antidote that I know of.

What in the world?

Kioni woke up last night at 2:30am coughing her lungs out, when I went in her room to check in on her, she was hot! She had a 99.2F temperature, after she took some Motrin, (that's the only thing I could find in the dark), I held her and rocked her for a while, before she would go back to her crib. She coughed throughout the night, and at 7:30am, her fever was subsided. At 8:00am though, it sort of returned.
I got up at 7:00am, made some brown rice soup for her. She asked for an egg for breakfast, adding the rice soup, I guess she is OK. Then Dan woke up feeling not so good, had some stomach problem and 'output' problems.
Our friend at church, Mary Kay, offered to have Kioni twice a week so that Dan could study for his ThM major comprehensive exam. She was suppose to take Kioni for the first time today, however, both daddy and Kioni are sick, so I guess they both have to stay home.
Why is everyone sick on a Monday morning? Well, I said yesterday while we were driving to church that I was thankful that Kioni has not been sick this whole winter, my words came out too fast? Don't know. But I am sure Kioni appreciates all the drugs she needs to take. In fact, she was chipmunking some food when I told her it's time for taking medicine, she hurried up and swallowed the food so she could take the drug! I wish I was that eager to take drugs. After she took the pink Motrin, she wanted the purple Tynonel too.

The Ohs took this photo for us while we visited them last month. 

The slience

I have not much to say these days, which is very odd for a person like me whom loves to talk about everything and anything. Work is stressful, because I know my boss would like me to give him a date when I will resign, but I cannot, since we don't know when the 100% support will come in. The home front is exciting for the reason of the growing Kioni. She has been such a joy and blessing to Dan and I.
Dan told me Dr. Feinberg would not let him take the comprehensive exam in May, rather, he will have to take it in mid-March, that means he has 35 days to study for it, which I am sure, is sending his stress level to the max.
Well, God will not put us through things that we cannot handle, and His grace is always sufficient.

The treadmill of life

Felt like that before? Running and running on a treadmill of endless events and stuff to do, that don't really matter that much, but you just got to keep running? It is easy to say, just be still and stop that treadmill. Once in a while, I feel like I can slow it down, but doesn't seem to be able to get off that treadmill. I guess I can't get off until I see Jesus face to face. In the mean time, I will have just have to make sure I keep the setting of the treadmill on low, though it seems like it automatically turns itself to various 'training' options with hills and valleys all the time. C'est le vie!

Tired

Haven't done much in any of my blogs, I am just tired, physically and emotionally tired. If you are a Christian who is reading this post, please pray that God will give me grace to sustain me through this busiest time of the semester and the trip we are going to take next week to D.C..

Two years of being a mom

My little girl is two today. The day when I went to the hospital early in the morning to have the C-section is still fresh in my mind, but that was two years ago. I still remember vividly asking why she was not crying after the doctor took her out, her temperature was lower than they wanted, she was not breathing at first, the doctors fixed those. Then the nurse put her on my neck (yes, on my neck, because my arms were tied down for the operation) so I could see her. I remember thinking "that's the face we have longed to see for so many months, that's my daughter, she is so pretty."
It seems like being a mother is an instinct, with all the hormones going crazy, I am sure some were responsible for being super protective of my new born. She was cold, so the nurse brought her to me to do some "skin to skin" holding. Yep, she warmed up, but I was soaked with sweats! That didn't matter.
God, I thank you for our little girl, through her, you have given Dan and I joy that is beyond words.

This makes me proud!

The Heritage Foundation and the Wall Street Journal released the 2006 Index of Economic Freedom today.
"Once again, Hong Kong ....lead(s) the pack." Singapore follows, and these are the only two Asian countries in the top 10. (For the press release, click here.) Yes, that means Hong Kong enjoys the most economic freedom in the world. China only ranks 111 (and falls in the mostly unfree catagory.) The U.S. shares the #9 spot with Australia and New Zealand.
The authors generally examined data for the period covering the second half of 2004 through the first half of 2005. To the extent possible, the information considered for each factor was current as of June 30, 2005. (See FAQ for how they rated the countries.)
The 2006 Index of Economic Freedom measures countries against a list of 50 independent variables divided into 10 broad factors of economic freedom. Low scores are more desirable. The higher the score on a factor, the greater the level of government interference in the economy and the less economic freedom a country enjoys.

Donald Tsang (Chief Executive, HKSAR) and Edwin J. Feulner (President, The Heritage Foundation)

The old Kai Tak International Airport

The night scene of Hong Kong is breath-taking, especially if you were flying in from the old Kai Tak international airport (1924-1998), it is like vertical columns of diamonds piling onto one another.

(click on photo to enlarge)
Talking about the old Kai Tak airport, the landing approach using runway 13 at Kai Tak was spectacular and world-famous. If you typed in "Difficult and Dangerous Airport Approaches" on your search engine, you are bound to find "Hong Kong Kai Tak Airport" mentioned all over the place, (click here to see a sample of such results).
We have a pilot friend whom have flown into Kai Tak before, he said they specifically taught you how to land in Kai Tak in pilot training school, it was considered one of the ten most difficult airports to land in the world.
To land on runway 13, an aircraft first took a descent heading northeast. The aircraft would pass over the crowded harbour, and then the very densely populated areas on Western Kowloon.
This leg of the approach was guided by an IGS (Instrument Guidance System, a modified ILS) after 1974. Upon reaching a small hill marked with a checkerboa rd in red and white, the pilot needed to make a 47° visual right turn to line up with the runway and complete the final leg.

(click on photo to enlarge)
The aircraft would be just two nautical miles from touchdown, at a height of less than 1000 ft when the turn was made. Landing the 13 approach would become even more challenging when crosswinds from the northeast were strong and gusty during typhoons.

(click on photos to enlarge)
From a spectator's point of view, watching fully-loaded Boeing 747's banking at low altitudes and taking big crab angles during their final approcahes was quite the thrill. Depite the difficulty, it was nonetheless used most of the time due to the prevailing wind direction in Hong Kong.
Despite its challenging approach and mountainous geographical surroundings, there were relatively few accidents at Kai Tak, only 8 accidents in its 74 years of operating history, and only one of those was fatal, other were either caused by human error or were weather related.
Our pilot friend said there were so few accidents provided the difficulty of the landing, because any pilot who had to land in Kai Tak would be trained specifically to do so. In fact, he said, "I often would have headaches after I landed in Kai Tak."
I have personally flown in and out of Kai Tak many times, I have witnessed Japanese and American tourists screaming on the plane upon landing, thinking we were going to crash, and when the tires of the plane touched the runway, you'll hear huge roars of joy and lots of hand-clapping. Those were quite amusing to see.
Information source: click here

I miss you, Meme

Meme, you ceased to exist for three months already. I miss you very much. You were in my dreams last night. You were young, jumping down the stairs with your long ears flying, like you could conquer the world. I think of you often, sometimes with tears.
Kioni and I looked at some of the photos that you and Kioni took, she reconized you, I wonder what she was thinking when she saw her young self and you. Hope it was something sweet.
Oh, Meme, I long to touch your soft fur and giving you big hugs. I even long for your begging of food, believe it or not. But honestly, I don't miss the hair you left behind anywhere you went, though.
My sweetie, I love you and you will have a special place in my heart forever.

Hong Kong flags

Yep, that's the old Hong Kong flag. Though I don't feel much towards the British queen nor the flag, it brings back memory of what it was like before Hong Kong was turned back over to China in July 1, 1997. That was 11 months after I married Dan, the American. This is the place where I spent my first 33 years of my life, minus 5 years in Taipei, Taiwan when I attended university. I miss my hometown, I miss the food, the energy and most of all, my family and friends. I DON'T miss the crowd (which provides the energy, by the way), don't miss the heat, and surely not the pollution.
The new Hong Kong flag has the same colour scheme that the Chinese flag has, there is a story behind the colour and the flower. I have to admit that I like the old, more subdued blue old flag.

Work is work

I like my job at Trinity, THE Field Education Coordinator. Get to talk to students, find out what is going on in their lives, pray for them, grade their papers, great! Well, occasionally, have to put up with some wrath of unorganized students, but that's OK, those will pass. Though I like my job, it is not quite the kind of "job" that I would like to do for the rest of my life. I would trade that with having Bible studies with Chinese students like I did in U of Maryland in a heart beat. I could do Bible studies to share the gospel for the rest of my short life, it beats everything, except spending time with Kioni. The joy of seeing them taking one step closer each week, seeing how God is working in their soul, seeing how they finally surrender their lives to Jesus Christ and start living a life with Jesus as their center, those are priceless rewards. I long to do that again. That is when I am done with Trinity, I will do it again.

Snow is pretty, not unless you have a chauffeur...

I am so tired of this 20F (-6C or so) degree weather. It is going to snow some more tomorrow, ALL DAY!!! Adding another 6" to the 10" that is already on the ground. Why would people want to live in Chicago, Fargo, Buffulo or Alaska all their lives. Snow is pretty when you have a butler, a personal cook, a chauffeur and a four wheel drive, but not for common people like me, who is driving a 1990 Buick Century with a broken tail light, who has to spend half an hour in frigid cold digging the car out of the 2 foot snow that the snow plow piled up against your car, then drive one hour (which normally takes 20 minutes) on icy roads to go to work, and then do the same when you leave work. Well, there is a time in life for everything, right? I guess it is my sub-tropic self talking here.

Take a vote

When I look at Kioni today, I have already forgotten how she looked when she was three months old, she is a little girl now, not a baby anymore, though I still call her my baby, and she will stay like that for a long while. Where did the time go, it seems like it was yesterday when I had that wonderful Japanese seafood buffet at Todai before I went under the knife to have the C-section. That was almost two years ago. Wow! Today, Kioni is 23 months old, one more month and she will officially be two.
By the way, who do you think she looks like, Amy or Dan, leave a comment, take a vote.

It is COLD!

When I lived in Hong Kong, 10C (50F) is cold. Girls are allowed to wear pants instead of skirts for their school uniforms when it drops below that temperature. I remember wear long johns and two pairs of socks at the bottom just to keep warm. It was hard to sit in a class and concerntrate while you were shaking. It does feel cold even at that temperature because normally households in Hong Kong are not equipped with central heat. Well, why would anybody wants that when you are living in a subtropical region of the world? Where only a few days in a year will the temperature be that "low".
However, living in Chicago is a different story. Today, the high is -8.3C (17F) and the low is -14.4C (6F). Now, THAT is COLD! I was not aware of how cold it is when I walked out of the house with just a cotton turtle neck and a medium length wool coat, well I had a scarf, a hat and a pair of gloves on, but it is still cold.
I think you need to be young to like the real winter weather, it is not fun to feel the moisture from the inside of your nose turning into ice, at least it feels that way.

Quiet day at work

It is the day before Thanksgiving, no classes today, therefore, no students and no professors around, even staff are gone early, driving or flying somewhere to join their families for Thanksgiving. This morning when I came in, just Dr. Swanstrom was there, and then it is me, each of us in our own little office doing our stuff. My boss is nowhere to be seen, maybe he decides to take today off but has no idea what my phone number is, yes, that's him.
It snows today, it is beautiful, new snow is beautiful, that is if you don't have to walk on it and get all wet and slushy.

2005 Thanksgiving

I have so much to be thankful for this year. First of all, I am thankful to be alive. No, I am not being morbid. I just don't want to take being alive for granted. Not only that, I am healthy and able. Many people on earth do not get to live to be 42 and healthy, but I do. And of course, God has given me people in my life whom love me and I love, this is such a great manifestation of what God's love is about. No, it is not quite like God's love for me, but as least all the relationships show some aspects of what God's love is like.
I am thankful that Dan is at the last stage of writing his ThM thesis, hopefully, he'll be done by Christmas, at least the majority of it.
I am thankful that Kioni is growing at she should, meeting all the milestone of a 22 month old and sometimes exceeding them.
I am thankful that God has provided a job for me at Trinity that I could serve Him in a certain capacity and at the same time, provide for Dan and Kioni while Dan is pursuing his dream.
I am thankful that He has guided us for making the decision to go to the Philippines as missionary professors for two years. I anticipate these two years will open up our hearts and minds towards many things, world missions in particular.
I am thankful that even there are many deaths that happened towards the last half of the year, one of them is Dan's father, we do celebrate several births, one of those babies is Dan's brother's Chris and his wife's Cheryl's baby boy, whom was born yesterday (November 21, it was Dan's birthday) at 7:30 pm, his name has yet to be announced.
I am thankful for the health of my parents, whom I desparately want to see them come to know the grace and salvation of Christ.
God, thank you. I know even with all my might, it is impossible to live a life that is pleasing to you. I ask that you would guide me and help me every day to be more like you, and glorify you in everything I do and say.

Please give feedback

The best time to attack

The best time for our Enemy to attack is when we are making a spiritual difference. I cannot tell you how many times since we have accepted the teaching positions in the Philippines that I have voices in my head saying, "What do you think you are? You are not good enough to teach God's word!" or "Why go to the Philippines, life is good in America, it is comfortable, stable, safe. Kioni needs stabilities in her life. How dare the two of you dragging her all the way across the world and throw her in a developing country just because you think you are following God's call!" Many times, I knew our Enemy is giving me all these thoughts, especially during difficult times, to throw us off the course. Sometimes it is quite tempting to listen to these "logical" arguments and agree to them. But in the end, the Holy Spirit won my mind and heart over and helped me realize those were just big fat lies from our Enemy, whom doesn't want us to make any differences in anybody's life, it just wants us to live quietly, don't make a splash, don't stir up anything, just live a comfortable suburban Christian life. Go to church, lead a bible study, have some Christian friends over for dinner once in a while, that's good enough. Well, God has directed us otherwise.

Right at the time when we were deciding if we should go to the Philippines, two churches called Dan up and wanted to interview him for pastor's positions. Both churches are in the Washington D.C. area, which we both love to go back to. We know the city, we even know which neighbourhood to live in if we were to move back there. The thought of the possibilities of being able to have a stable income, to live in a nice D.C. neighbourhood and to minister there was very tempting. However, we both strongly felt that this is not what God is directing us in the next couple of years. So we turned them down.

It doesn't mean we will never live that way, but it is not the time now.

Chapter 2

Dan finished chapter two of his thesis last night, it is a good half inch thick, quite an accomplishment! Well, at least to me it is. The price for chapter one and chapter two are Dan being in the library for two months plus from 6:00pm to midnight, and then work some more after coming home from the library, and that is after a full day with Kioni and doing support-team building at the same time. I salute him for being this dedicated.
It sure has put some distance in our relationship, as one can imagine, the hand-the-baby-off time everyday is about 15-20 minutes after I arrive home, there is not much time to catch up with anything.
I'll be glad when this phase of our life is over, there will be new challenges along the way, I am sure, but I will be glad that this is over.

I asked God

I asked God for a flower, he gave me a bouquet

I asked God for a minute, he gave me a day
I asked God for true love, he gave me that too
I asked for an angel, he gave me you.

- John Raine -

Life and purpose

A friend's husband died last week of a head-on car collison. I was shocked, we just don't expect a young person to die that soon, but in fact, when you think about it, it could happen to any of us. We just don't know how long we are going to live, and in what manner we are going to die. Death without God is particularly hard to deal with, because it is so final. I am not saying that if Dan dies tomorrow, it will not be hard, but at least, I know he is with the Lord who loves him and he will not encounter any suffering of this world anymore. The best part is we will see each other again in full glory.

When we see an unexpected death, we think of our own mortality, and it is a good thing, because that puts our view of life and death into the right perspective, helps us to put things in the right priorities, do the important things in ife, but not things that everybody said is important. Life on earth is a journey, God places us here to fulfill his purposes and to glorify him, this is not our home.

No one, on their death bed, would wish that they would have spend more time in the office, wish that they have finish more projects for the company, rather, they regret that they didn't spend enough time with their wives, husbands, children and do things that they find meaningful and have an eternal impact.

For me, I think the most important thing in life right now is to fulfill my responsibilities as a wife, a mother and an evangelist. That's why I truly awaits the day when my working days are over and can stay home. It will not happen until we can raise full support to go to the Philippines.

God of the universe

Photo from NASA. All rights reserved.

Dan has been working very hard on support-team building. We prayed again and again for God to send us the partners that he has prepared for us. We are asking that God we will be 40% funded by Thanksgiving. In the midst of all the photo-copying, phone calls, scheduling and meetings, it is easy to lose sight of the fact that the God of the universe is the one who is sending us to his mission and we are just obeying what he has asked us to do. Look at the universe and ponder. Our God who is sending us to go to the Philippines, created all these, stars and galaxies that we will NEVER reach in our lifetime, space that we cannot fathom, activities that we cannot see. Look at the wonders he has displayed in front of our eyes. Why would we think that he cannot send us to the Philippines with full funding if he wants us to go?
God of the universe, you are amazingly grand and yet, you are so tender and caring, what an existence!

The search has ended

I have been searching for a good hair stylist since I came here nine years ago, don't have much success. Since I left Hong Kong, left my most trust-worthy hairstylist, Sam, I have lost the fun of going to have a haircut. I didn't need to tell Sam what to do, I sat down, he started to cut. He always gave me the best haircut that fit my personality and the time period that I am living in, not something from 109 years ago. We became friends, in fact, I shared the gospel with him, but he insisted that he is not ready for receive such 'good things' yet.

I pretty much have given up hope for having a good head of hair, until I saw a co-worker, Hae-Won's hair style. She is Korean, her hair stylist is Korea, and he doesn't speak much English. I went anyway, Hae-Won made the appointment for me. Eddy is young, doesn't speak much English, but he is good at what he does. The bonus is the haircut is only $20.00!!! The cheapest I have had so far was $35.00, which was just a trim. Ha! Finally, I found a place where I would want to go back to for my haircut, this place won't cost me an arm and a leg either.

Today is a happy day.

To those I love

If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the Silent Way,
grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk
of me as if I were beside you there.



(I'd come-I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)

And when you hear a song or
see a bird I loved,
please do not let the thought of me be sad...
For I am loving you just as I always have...

You were so good to me!
There are so many things I wanted still



want to do—
so many things to say to you...
Remember that I did not fear—
It was just leaving you that was so hard to face...



We cannot see Beyond...
But this I know:
I loved you so—
'twas heaven here with you!

by Isla Paschal Richardson. Read by Gregory Peck at Frank Sinatra's funeral, 1998.

15 years of furry contacts

Meme was 15 years and 11 days old. That means only 27 years of my life that I have lived without Meme. She used to sleep in my bed with me, she tried to kick me off the bed because I was taking up too much of her space. We used to share food together, whatever I ate, she ate. So much for the dog-food-for-dog-only theory, she was a pure bred Basset, she lived for 15 years, who said human food is not good for dogs. The only food that she came to not liking in her old age were cucumber and squash, other than that, she ate anything, raw or cooked, including vegetables. She caught lots of cockroaches, but only caught a baby bunny once when we lived in Scott Air Force Base in Southern Illinois (Bassets hunts rabbits). She would not let go of it, our body-building neighbour forced her mouth open to get the bunny out, quite gross. Our first apartment was next to a cemetery, she used to run and run and run in the cemetery chasing squirrels. She once ripped a toe-nail out from running in the cemetery, it grew back, and that didn't stop her from running more. She would chase the squirrels up the trees, then she put her front paws up the trees and barked at them.

She unzipped my luggage and stole dried shitake mushroom, ate US$80 worth of the delicacy, I just brought those back from Hong Kong, I just got off the plane, left the luggage in the house to go and get some dinner. She stole shrimp cavier noodles, ate about two dozens, the last couple of dried noodle cakes she couldn't finish, she was too full. She dragged a whole pound of frozen raw ground beef off the counter-top, even she only stood about 15 inches tall, half hour later when we returned home, what's left was the plastic wrap and the styrofoam plate, not one bit of meat was in sight, she still beg for dinner that night, she didn't get any. She opened a tupperware box and enjoyed two dozens of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. She must be happy to see Dan left an opened two-pound bag of M & M's on the coffee table, only a few was eaten by Dan before we went out for dinner that night, she ate half a bag of the M & M's, that was a nice dessert for her. I guess she didn't finish all of it because it made her feel sick. She had chocolate looking poop for a day.
Several vets told us she wouldn't live another 6 months when she was about 10 and 12 years old, but somehow she outlived all the prophecies. She had ultrasound on her tummy, on her heart and her lungs. She was fine.
She like to take looooonnnnnnngggg walks, 2 hours was preferred, 1 hour is OK, not quite enough. She was a sloppy drinker, got to have a towel ready if you didn't want her to wet you all over your lap.
She was such a fun dog, I miss her very much.

First day without Meme

Meme is gone. Yesterday, when I cleaned her wound, I found maggots in her wound, I killed some, but three went back inside. She was trying to scratch afterwards, obviously, she was quite uncomfortable. I knew it was time. We could take her to the vet and make her go through pain and have it cleaned out, but then the wound will even be larger and I don't think it will heal, and it is more prone to infection. I don't think want her to go through all that pain.
She hadn't been walking well in the past two weeks, she was slow before, but in the past two weeks, she was having difficulty standing up, and she couldn't walk across the room without laying down several times. She lost interests to go outside, she would go do her business and came right back home. She wouldn't even walk far enough to the grass, just stayed close to the patio. She was gradually losing control of her bladder. When she walked up to the patio door, she was anticipating the peeing motion, and she would pee inside the house, didn't make it outside.
We were to put her down Monday when the vet's office is opened, but I couldn't stand having to antipicate her death, it was too hard. I would much rather grieve the lost then to grieve the anticipation of her death. So Dan and I took her to an emergency vet clinic. Mrs. Iris Feinberg came over to stay in the house just in case Kioni woke up.
It was the most difficult thing to do. Meme was gone in seconds after the injection. The vet said her brain stopped functioning before her heart stopped, she didn't even realize she was dying.
This morning was very hard. I kept telling myself I didn't have to get up to let her out, I didn't have to feed her. When I came down with Kioni, the usual spot where her food and water bowl were was empty. The usual spots where she laid was empty, there were still fingernail marks that she made on the carpet from the night before, the indent of the pillow that she slept on was still there, but there was no Meme.
I saw her every week until she was one, I have had her since she was one year old. She was 15 years and 11 days old. She was born in Australia, moved to Hong Kong, lived there until 6, then move to the U.S., lived 9 more years, died in Illionis.
Undoubtly, she lived an enjoyable good life, the vet said he has never seen a Basset Hound this old.
She brought a lot of joy to my life, she made me laugh, she took long walks with me. She was my faithful companion when I first moved here, she was the only thing that reminded me of Hong Kong, she was my baby before Kioni was born. I love her.
Goodbye Meme. It is very hard to let you go. I know it is for your good, you are not suffering anymore, the tumors are not boring you anymore, your legs are not hurting anymore, your blindness is not affecting you anymore, and surely not the maggots.
You were a good dog, thank you for being with me through lots of ups and downs. It is hard to say goodbye, but there is always an end to life.

Ready to say goodbye?

Meme started to have serious difficulty walking two days ago (Monday). I was at home because Dan went to Minneapolis for Missions Orientation. I realize that Meme was not able to get up most of the time, and even when she could, she would walk for a couple of steps and then would fall down. She would bark because she wanted to get to the water or wanted to go out, but physically, she was unable to.
She is still eating well, last night she barked at 3:00am, I went downstairs and found her on the floor in the hallway, she was in the area where the runner ends, she couldn't get up because the floor is too slippery. I let her out, well, more like pick her up so that she could go. She then walked back into the house, couldn't walk a step further, just plop herself down right in front of the sliding door. She stayed there for a long while, slept some more, then she woke up licking her lips. I realized that she wanted water. I brought the water to her, she drank half a bottle!!! Then she slept some more. After some time, she wanted to get up again, but after taking one step, she fell down and stayed there for some more time until Kioni woke up at 6:40am.

It is so hard to watch my dog of 15 years struggle like this. I have, in my mind, thought about putting her down over and over in the past two days. I think I am finally a bit more ready than a month ago. However, I still don't know if she is ready. I don't think she wants to live like this, though. I just don't want to be sorry or wish I have done it two months later.

七月一日

二零零六年七月一日是我們結婚十年零一個月的日子，也十分可能是我終結在三一神學院事奉的日子。老板說要有個新舊人交替的日子，他強烈建議那日子是七月一日。雖然我一天不交說要離開，我老板也沒有我辦法，但是他一再強調要有個交替的日子，我也不好和他強辯。
我 聽見之後心中沉了一下，在過去四年來，全靠我在三一的工作，我和DAN才能夠交學費、吃飯、供樓、交水電費和醫療保險。在祺祺出生之後，我的工作就會變 得不大一樣了。老實說，我寧可在家作全職媽媽。但是現實不容許我作這個選擇，在過去的二十個月來我唯有乖乖的去上班。我不是我不喜歡我的工作，相反地，這 份工作十分有意思，也有永恆的價值。但是與作全職媽媽比較起來，就有天淵之別了。
想到明年七月一日我就不用再上班，心中有點高興，終於可以作全職媽媽了。但是生活費、供樓錢和醫療保險又從何而來呢？到時候我們籌款到菲律賓籌得怎樣呢？足夠我們生活嗎？樓賣得出去嗎？要把MEME人道毀滅嗎？
要到各州的教會去籌款聽起來就夠累了，更不用說要帶著才兩歲大的祺祺坐長途車到處去。這一切想起來就頭痛，唯有把一切交給神。
神既然把到菲律賓的意念放在我們心?，我們就看看祂怎樣為我們成就這一切細節。

Crazy

Things have been going pretty crazy these days. A typical day is for me to get up in the morning, feed Kioni breakfast, get myself ready then rush off to work. Somedays when Kioni didn't get up until later in the morning, I can't give her breakfast, Dan will have to do it. Dan cares for Kioni during the day. After work I rush home and take over, so that Dan can work in the library on his thesis from 5:30pm untill mid-night, he then comes home and work some more. So in the morning, it is hard for him to get up to take care of Kioni with just a few hours of sleep. He cannot work on his thesis during the day, toddlers just need so much attention all the time. Dan also has to work on support team building. Hopefully, all these craziness will end when we head off to the Philippines, because I won't be working full-time, Kioni really prefers to have me around in addition to daddy. She cries every morning when I leave for work.

My boss is discussing with me the possibility of handing over my position to a new person we interviewed last week. He wants this to happen on July 1, 2006, that is good and bad. Good because I can stay home and take care of all the details for the big move to the Philippines. Bad is that we will not have insurance nor income, but we won't know if we can head to the Philippines yet since we won't know how support-team building will go by then.

Lots of things we have to lift up to the Lord, and depend totally on His grace.

Meme's birthday

Today is Meme's 15th birthday. Our vet said he has never seen a bassett hound that lives this long. Though she has been blind for 4 years and has tumors all over her. She still have a great sniffer though, she still loves to eat so much that she would wake up from a deep sleep whenever that is a trace of food smell around the house.

When I get off work today, I will make a pot of rice and chicken for Meme. She loves rice and chicken, and food is the only thing she enjoys now. She doesn't go for walks anymore, her joints hurt, and it is not fun when you cannot see what's going on around you.

We know her time with us is not going to be long, she sometimes has difficulty standing up, or maintaining her balance if she walks too fast. I have been praying that God will let her die of old age, like in her sleep, rather than to have me make the decision and make that phone call to make an appointment with the vet to put her down. It is hard to have to part with a friend who has been with you for this long.

I know God has not created spirits in animals, I do believe that God will have animals in heaven. Why won't it be? God thought that they are nice addition to the earth when he created it, why not in heaven? I don't think I will see Meme there, but I will have other animals to enjoy.

My co-worker Barbara put her 19 year old cat, Jamie, to sleep yesterday. It was quite an emotional day for her. She then buried him in her backyard underneath the lilac bushes where Jamie always loved to lay under. The whole family participated the 'ceremony', but that was not easy. She was still teary eyed this morning when we talked about it. Some people don't understand why we animal lovers cry this long and hard when we lose a pet. Well, the truth is, they are not just pets, they are part of the family for a very long time. In fact, I know Meme longer than I know Dan.

Even though I am well prepared for the day when Meme will not be with me anymore, but nothing will prepare me when that day arrives. I will grief, that's for sure. It is strange to talk about her death on her birthday, isn't it?

Accepted

Dan and I are accepted by the EFCA-International Missions as missionaries to Cebu, Philippines. Our area of ministry will be teaching. We are in the process of support team building. Please see our website if you would like more detailed information, or photos of the school and the city we are going to: www.bush-family.info

In the middle of the EFCA-IM Candidate School in Minneapolis back in mid-July, we received news that Dan's father died of a massive heart attack. His body is cremated and we are going back to Michigan this weekend for the burial and a memorial service. We are not sure if his father was a believer, though he attended church regularly early on. He was only 57. Dan's parents are divorced, when dad died, he was living in South Carolina with his sister and attending U of SC for a BA.

School has started back at Trinity, my work involves a lot of academic advising, therefore, it has been non-stop for a while. Dan is under pressure of writing his thesis for the Master of Theology program, he will have to finish it by December.

Due to everything that happened, it has been difficult for me to concentrate for translation, I have tried to do a little bit at a time, but it has been challenging.

Prayers:

1) Support team building: pray that God will guide us to the churches and individuals whom he has ordained to join our support team, we know God has already provided, it is a matter of finding out who!

2) In the midst of all the stress that Dan and I have right now, pray that we will have peace and grace to handle everything that is on our plates.

老虎、豆腐、底褲

養 育 祺 祺 佔 了 我 和 DAN 很 多 時 間 ， 為 人 父 母 的 都 知 道 帶 大 一 個 孩 子 不 容 易 。 可 是， 其 中 的 歡 樂 是 在 別 處 找 不 到 的 。 今 天 她 說 了 三 個 名 詞 ， 是 她 幾 個 星 期 前 就 學 會 了 的 ﹕ 老 虎 、 豆 腐 、 底 褲 ， 但 是 說 出 來 三 個 名 詞 都 差 不 多 ， 十 分 好 笑 。 但 你 若 是 用 心 聽 的 話 ， 每 個 名 詞 都 是 有 分 別 的 。

一 個 月 前 在 我 們 開 車 從 明 尼 亞 波 里 斯 的 宣 教 士 訓 練 大 會 回 家 途 中 ， 她 突 然 說 ﹕ ‘ 爹 爹 Na Nu。 ’我 們 問 她 Na Nu 是 甚 麼 ， 她 也 沒 有 解 釋 ， 只 是 說 了 之 後 就 微 笑 。 隨 後 她 又 說 ‘ 媽 咪 Na Nu， MeMe Na Nu’ 當 我 說 ‘ 祺 祺 Na Nu’ 的 時 候 ， 她 就 輕 輕 的 笑 兩 聲 。 從 此 之 後 每 次 我 們 說 Na Nu， 她 都 興 緻 勃 勃 地 把 她 毛 公 仔 的 名 字 連 到 Na Nu 上 一 起 說 。 到 現 在 我 們 都 搞 不 清 楚 究 竟 Na Nu 是 甚 麼 。

今 天 晚 上 她 睡 覺 前 跟 她 數 手 指 ， 我 一 邊 扳 開 她 的 手 指 一 邊 說 ﹕ ‘ 手 指 公 、 食 指 、 中 指 、 無 名 指 、 手 指 尾 ’ 無 當 我 數 到 無 名 指 的 時 候 ， 她 都 大 笑 起 來 ， 原 因 不 明 。

如 果 你 認 為 我 和 DAN 的 世 界 似 乎 是 以 祺 祺 為 中 心 ， 你 觀 察 得 沒 錯 。 神 說 ‘ 不 可 敬 拜 別 神 ’ ， 這 個 誡 命 十 分 重 要 ， 因 為 甚 麼 在 我 們 生 命 中 佔 上 最 多 時 間 的 ， 很 多 時 候 就 成 了 我 們 敬 拜 的 對 像 。 有 些 人 是 工 作 ， 有 些 人 是 男 朋 友 ， 有 些 人 是 某 種 活 動 。 對 我 和 DAN來 說 ， 這 個 小 小 的 人 兒 佔 據 了 我 們 的 生 命 的 好 大 部 分 ， 若 不 是 神 的 這 個 誡 命 的 提 醒 ， 把 祺 祺 看 為 ‘ 神 ’ 是 多 麼 的 容 易 啊 ！ 但 是 神 說 生 命 是 神 所 賜 的 ， 祺 祺 只 是 神 交 託 給 我 們 照 顧 的 一 份 大 禮 物 ， 我 們 並 不 擁 有 她 ， 神 才 是 她 的 主 。